SarinaRose's Journal

BLAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i really dont know anymore. you know, cuz my husband makes no sence. one miniute he is nice and the next he is a huge jerk! i can't hold my son, i cant pick him up. otherwise i am in pain... oh wait, i DO pick up my son and I AM in alot of pain!almost costently! i'm told i do nothing and that i aviod holding my baby! i push my self beyond what i should and put myself in sooo much pain. during the day at work i go about 10 to 20 miniutes at a time with very little or no pain. ussually not very long 20 is a rare amount for me. and at home i dont go more then 5 with hout pain! i'm always in pain. beacuse i hold my son and pick him up and playwith him and make him laugh! and yet people dont think i do any of that! they think i go and spend all my spoons dancing! i have maybe 1 or 2 spoons a week for my dancing! and if i am lucky god will bless me with an extra but that doesnt happen very offten!!! he just doesnt understand. and i am soooo tierd of trying to make people understand! so i'm going to go eat lunch and not care what people think or get or understand or care about! no matter who it is!!! ~Sarina*