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suzannelin 
7:55am Yesterday
12 weeks today! I am pretty happy, but I did have yet another little scare.
I am still not quite sure what is going on with me.
I had a little spike in blood pressure over the weekend. I think having gone through so many fertility treatments I am really sensitive to what is going on in my body. Anyway today my pressure spiked back up, pretty high and stayed up, and I had a nasty headache. I decided I had better check in with the OB. To my surprise they had me come in immediately.
On the good side I got the hear the heart beat again. Still going strong, but opposite the side they found it last time. This little gal/guy is a mover! The bad side is I have to monitor my BP for a while. Not only was my BP high I had elevated protein in my urine. I may start medication to try and control it and I have a bunch of tests to do including a 24 hour urine collection. (I had to ask for clarification -- yes this really means I collect my pee for 24 hours) The plan is to monitor myself and then call on Friday to decide if I should start medication, get my testing done and schedule follow up appointments. Fun, fun, fun... Well, it is too early to be preeclempsia anyway.
I love my OB's office. I saw a different doctor in the practice. She was super nice also. She praised me for having caught this problem so early. They want to work really closely with me to make sure there are no complications and this gets under control ASAP. So I will most likely have weekly visits for a while. My mom came with me who was so impressed; back in her day the doctor was kind of mean and told her not to gain so much weight and suck it up. [Of course when I called my PCP to follow up they were total assholes and couldn't get me in until late December, referred me to another doctor in the practice who never bothered to call me back... not a nice way to treat someone who's blood pressure is already elevated!]
Oh, the fetal Doppler I ordered came in today. After the appointment I knew right where to look. I actually found the heart beat in 2 places. (I think front and back of the baby). I let my mom and brother hear, then later my dad, and finally Jeff via speaker phone. I tried again, but I think the poor baby is hiding from all of the poking and prodding.
So I guess this entry is all about the heart. Mine is working a little over time, but maybe that is because it is so full from hearing how strong my baby's heart is.
Comments
No, seriously, I really did have that for dinner one night last week.
Once I realized I actually ate pickles and ice cream I thought it was too funny.
Since last week I have been steadily starting to feel a little better. Friends and family have been seeing that I am eating regularly, which is helping to keep me from getting really sick and limiting it to mild nausea. I did have a crazy blood pressure spike on Sunday. My mom made me take her blood pressure cuff so I can monitor a few times a day and make sure it isn't a pattern of things to come, but rather a fluke.
I had the what to do about the work dilemma conversation with my husband when he was briefly home. He was a little concerned about my wanting to stay home with the baby and not return to work for a few years, but after we talked it seemed to make as much sense to him as it does to me. He further surprised me by calling after he left. Apparently he had thought about it, since I have been having so much stress at work, and he is supportive of my leaving my job ANY time I feel like I need to. I have opted to stay until 2 weeks prior to my due date and then go on maternity leave. I will just not renew my contract for the next year. But just having his support on this REALLY took so much stress off!
My boss also surprised me today when she mentioned that she is in the process of hiring a sub. (A substitute therapist!?!) The plan is for this person to get familiar with my cases and then cover should I be out for any reason. For some reason my supervisor has a feeling I will end up on bed rest at some point in my pregnancy. Again it is very comforting that there will be someone to take over my workload should I have any problems. Any crazy bitchy people can't throw THAT in my face again!
As for the NT test after talking to so many people who have gone through this I have opted to go through with it. Next Tuesday (when Jeff is finally home again) we have an appointment to talk to a genetic counselor and have a nice long ultra sound to see what's going on in my uterus. I am excited to see the baby. I have been having u/s withdrawal of sorts. I mean after having them multiple times a week I'm missing what's going on in there. I kind of miss my dates with Stanley (what I named my RE's u/s machine).
I try not to worry and have been doing a pretty good job staying positive and in the here and now with this pregnancy, but with Jeff being gone so much and all this illness and being up a lot of the nights, I was wishing for some way to reassure me when I do get a little tense. I finally broke down and ordered a fetal Doppler. It should arrive in the next few days. I can't wait to hear the little sea turtle/peanut's heartbeat whenever I get the urge.
What else... OH I am 12 weeks tomorrow! That is very exciting. Since Jeff has been away so much (5 of the last 6 weeks) I have been sending him updates every week on what is happening with the baby's development. He's reading his "Daddy's book" and everything between us (except all of these miles) couldn't be better.
I know I've not been on as much as I used to, partly due to feeling so crappy all of the time and partly because the computer is in the room with the cat box and I just can not tolerate being in here! I try to check on all my friend's journals, but I know I miss so much...
Just know I keep you all in my thoughts and prayers for all your wishes and dreams to come true. For those who are trying I hope that your BFP is very soon to come, for those that are pregnant, I hope for happy and healthy pregnancies and easy deliveries, and for those who's babies have arrived, I wish for their health, happiness, and continued blessings!
Comments
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I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better. Wow only 2 more weeks and you are done first trimester! It sounds like everything is falling right into place for you and I could not be happier for you.
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Thank goodness you are starting to feel better! It will ease up for good very soon! I started to feel tremendously better between weeks 12 and 14...hopefully it's the same for you! Glad that everything is going well!
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I am so glad to hear that you are starting to feel a bit better, I seriously cannot believe its been almoist 12 weeks, where does the time go??? Cant wait to hear about your next date with "stanley"! xoxo
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I'm glad your doing great. Being a mom is awesome. Your gonna love it. It's a lot of work. BUt so worth it. Hang in there and enjoy!
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Wow 12 weeks. I can't believe it that much time went by already. So glad you are feeling better. I love the "stanley" That's pretty funny. Praying for your continued blessing of a wonderful pregnancy!
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I totally understand what you mean by U/S withdrawal! The last (and first) time I saw the baby was at 6 weeks. My DH said he saw the flashing light on the screen that was the heartbeat but I don't remember her pointing that out. All I was concentrating on was the outline of my baby. I am 12 weeks on Friday and will get the integrated screen next Monday! I can't wait to hear the heartbeat and see the baby when it looks more like a human! Glad to hear your husband is being supportive. Can't wait to see your new u/s pics and I will post mine as soon as I can. Oh btw, this Doppler you are getting, is it more sensitive than the one you can buy in say Wal-Mart? I heard that you have to be farther along to hear the baby's heartbeat with that.
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My OB's office warned me right away that I wouldn't be getting nearly the number of u/s' I was used to at the RE's office. It was hard at first, but once you feel the little one, it is reassuring! So glad things are going so positively for you and family! Very AWESOME that you will be taking off a few years with baby - it is so much better when you get the support of the hubby instead of stressing about it alone! Glad you are doing well - 12 weeks!!! It won't be long and you will be holding your little bundle of joy!!!!!!! I would definitely talk to your doc about the blood pressure thingy....continue to do well!!!
Yesterday I had THE most amazing experience. I heard my baby's heart beat for the first time. I am still in utter awe that something as simple as a soft, steady rhythmic thumping could be the most beautiful sound I have ever heard in my life.
The OB was nice and although she recommended I try to meet all of the doctor's on staff because whomever is on call when I go into labor will deliver my baby I had a great feeling. She was sensitive to the fact I am a nervous new mom, (MOM!!!) but will neither placate me nor dismiss me.
We did not get to see the baby this time. I do have a few decisions to make. [forgive the rambling] I need to decide if we will do screenings for Down's and Cystic Fibrosis. On one hand it is a really extensive extra chance to see the baby, but on the other do I really want to know the odds of a risk for these? Would it change a thing if my baby were at risk for Down's Syndrome? It could put my mind at ease -- or leave yet another reason to worry. But again I come back to an extensive peek at the baby. Any thoughts???
I also have to decide about work. I haven't officially spoke to Jeff about it, but he knows. I toy with when to put in my 4 weeks notice (yes 4 weeks at my job). I could make a break so I leave over the winter holiday vacation. I could wait until my due date in June and just not renew my contract (yes we have a contract, but THEY can break it at any time). I could go on leave 2 weeks prior to my due date (that's all my doctor will give under a normal pregnancy) and use up ever last second of sick time I have accumulated. I could even wait until February when my husband is due for his annual raise and see how that will add into our budget. If I keep working I will keep making money and that will be nice. With a baby on the way, not to mention the huge bill we amassed in making said baby, it will help. But the stress of everything at my job makes me want out NOW! Any thoughts here???
We have already begun to have the conversation of our second baby! How long to wait before using our tot-cycle...what if that doesn't work. I suggested start back at injectables and then move to donor sperm in a few months. Jeff said he's not comfortable with that and will do IVF again. I'm hoping to get through this pregnancy and let G-d take care of the rest when the time comes.
There is so much going through my mind right now and many things I need to consider. Yesterday was such a monumental day I now feel safe in my pregnancy. I know that once you hear the heartbeat risk drops significantly. I am now free to think about all of this. Well I guess that is enough rambling for now.
I hope that all of my friends who have not yet come to experience this joy will soon hear their own baby's heart beating and those who have to love every second of it.
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Congratulations on listening the baby's heartbeat!! It is the most amazing, comforting thing!! I am glad you liked your OB's, and it's true, if it is a practice, you might want to get familiar with all of them because you never know who will deliver. On the testing for Down's, I have to say that although those questions popped in my head (what ifs - would it change anything - etc.). My major concern was the risk of miscarriage (which is truly minimal but you do have to consider it). So in the end I opted for the less invasive testing, which will basically give you a 'ball park figure'… and then you can decide if you want to do CVS or amnio.
As far as working - being on bed rest for a while at the beginning of the pregnancy, gave me a different perspective on being at home while pregnant; and while ultimately the decision is yours; I will tell you this: Being at home made all my symptoms increase by the miles. Being at work, while sometimes can be uncomfortable and stressfull, at least takes my mind off all the potentially harmful worrisome thoughts that crossed (and cross) my mind constantly while I was at home (I have even noticed that I am more prone to call the doctor with worries over the weekend than during week days).
Maybe, you can set expectations at work, let them know that you will be working, but wont be taking any extra kids, or doing additional activities. I don’t know if its possible, but could you take a more administrative role? Something less stressful? Just some thoughts.
Again, congratulations on this first milestone and I keep wishing you the best and healthiest nine months ever!
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It is definitely a wonderful sound to hear!!! Regarding the screens...because of a congenital heart defect on Sean's side of the family, I have to do most of the screens...and I have to be honest, it's stressing me a bit. It's just one more thing to worry about...and for us, knowing won't change a thing...we will still love our baby no matter what. Right now I am not sure how I am going to handle my job...I would like to take off as much time as possible but it will all depend on how the rest of the pregnancy goes. That being said, just take everything one day at a time...you'll know when the time is right for baby #2.
Glad to hear that everything is going well with your health and the baby!!!
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How amazing!! You have waited a long time for this special day, congrats!! You are in my thoughts always! xoxo
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I am so happy you got to hear your baby! It is truly amazing. KYIMP.
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That's wonderful!! We did the test on Dylan, and they told us he was risk for having Down Syndrome, he had a 1:83 ratio, but he came out fine. I worried about it for awhile, but I personally wouldn't have changed a thing if he had Down Syndrome other than try to prepare myself how to care for him. Good Luck!!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
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SO glad you heard that wonderful sound. Hope you get to see him/her very soon. You are in my thoughts, enjoy each and every moment.
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Congrats on hearing your baby's heartbeat, I remember hearing my babies heartbeats for the first time and I screamed "oh my Gosh thats a heartbeat!" It was so wonderful seeing as we have been through so much to get here. As far as the testing I decided against it. First of all because no matter what the out come was I would love my children no matter what, second of all they say its not always accurate and third of all there is a slight chance it could cause miscarriage. I didn't want to risk it after going through so much. But its your choice and whatever you chose is the right choice. As far as work I have been at home since about 5 weeks pregnant and I will tell you with as sick as I have been there is no way I would have made it at work. I am going to try to stay off th whole way through only cause i am am my feet all day and have to lift boxes and i dont want to put my babies at risk. Good luck with everything I am so happy for you.
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I can only imagine how amazing hearing the heartbeat must have been!! So happy for you!!!
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So happy for you. i hav an appt today but they said it was too early to hear the hb. How far along are you?
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congrats!!! I heard my baby's heartbeat yesterday too...and wow it is truly something. I am going to do the non invasive down's syndrome test. It only consist of some blood work and an ultrasound. I just would like to know if something possibly is wrong, but that's just me. Glad things are going great for you!!1
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I am so so happy for you and hubby!!!I though (was told at re office) that the cystic fibrosis test had to be done before any IVF, (FDA rules..)
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Congratulations! You so so deserve to hear that beautiful sound!!!! Yeah!!!
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Congrats! That is so great to hear the heartbeat!
On work--I think you need to consider YOU and what would be best for your family. I know that I have done so much better going through IVF while I am working. It took my mind off it for a while. I tend to worry a lot, and with more free time on my hands, I would spend it all worrying or thinking about stuff. But that is me...
On testing--I'm not doing any invasive tests that pose any kind of risk to the baby. I will do blood tests, but nothing else. We feel that we worked way to hard to get where we are to risk it! Again, that's our opinion...
Good luck with whatever you decide!
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i'm so happy for you!!!
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So happy you got to hear the wonderful sound of your miracle:) Enjoy all the amazing milestones along the way.
Past Entries
Sorry about the high BP but it is great you caught it so early!
dmub21
I hope all is well and that if possible you can avoid meds. I know the worrying never ends, but I'm glad to hear that someone, your doctor is taking things seriously.
Be well, Mia
miahopeful
Glad you caught it early to get it under control. Talk to Shanny, she had some b/p issues during pregnancy.
albgray
Sorry about the HP but you have made it through the first trimester!! You go girl!
ali2ant
Im so happy they had you come in. Enjoy the 24hr urine thing LOL. I had to do one too and nothing like having this huge jug of pee in your fridge! Going on bp meds is no biggie. I was on them when I got pg but then once I got pg my bp got high so they increased it. Hang in there! Im so jealous you have a doppler ;)
AmberR
Sorry about your blood pressure; I'm sure it is scary but it's a blessing in disguise that the fertility treatments got you so in tune w/your body - hopefully you caught it early enough that it can be monitored and won't cause problems down the road. With Jeff being away, I'm sure you're probably doing a lot more than you should (Sean is also away and I am doing more than I should)...make sure you get rest! Glad you heard the heartbeat on the doppler...that's awesome!
Jenn17
sorry about your bloodpressure sweetie... I will keep you and your baby in my prayers.. Hugs!!!! :)
MandaMc9336
I guess after IF, 24 hours of peeing in a container should be a breeze :) Hope things get worked out with your BP and you don't have to go on meds, but if you do, it sounds like the doc will be right along side of you to monitor!!! That is awesome to hear! Have fun with the doppler and trying to chase the little one around. I remember my OB always having to close his eyes and search for Rhiannon as she moved around so much (except when we did the non-stress test when she was supposed to move). Anyways, continue to take care of yourself and don't do too much...it is just not worth it. Sometimes you just need to put your feet up and take care of your precious cargo!
Hugs!
PAMMILL
After peeing on a stick peeing in a container shouldn't be too difficult, LOL! It is great that you are so aware of your body, that you are able to alert the docs of what is an issue! Use all those wonderful 'techniques' for stress relief that we get so good at sharing with others & forget to use ourselves! (hum, I guess easier said than done says a fellow stressed out therapist!) I know you are home alone at this o\point with Jeff gone which I would guess means there are things that you are probably over doing at home... no one to cook you a meal & deliver in bed while you rest, darn! But what about work? Have they lightened your load? I sure hope you are finding time to do a little EXTRA good for yourself!
I continue to pray you and baby are healthy and strong!!!
BIG HUGS!
Jcurly
I took off work today to take care of all this testing, and despite the stress of the medical tests, my husbands flight being canceled, dealing with a stupid credit card company, etc my blood pressure seems to be NORMAL. Hmmm... I always joked about it, but I think my job IS sucking the life out of me! Anyway, the doctor advised to start a quarter dose of the low dose she was going to prescribe and check in next Friday.
suzannelin