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noturaverage 
4:46am, October 24, 2008
2.30am 7th oct 2008..............................
I have been doing well the past 3-4months. I've not had to depend on sleeping med's, and shameless to say, I haven't been to counseling in about 5-6months.
This is what I hate. Everything goes well, then bang a nightmare or 2 occurs and gets me thinking of past crap again.
I wish it would bugger off. I mean, yeah we all have a past, but I just want the sexual abuse/rape crap to disappear.
Anyone would think that its on my mind often, honestly it's not, but a dream about it and the whole area around it all, comes flooding back.
Right now I feel anxious, angry and upset.Part of the reason for venting it here in my journal is to try and help myself.
I'm such a fool from running away from counseling. I dnt want to get it all out where I'm in tears, thats why i havent been going.
One sad **** i am and feel at the best of times.
Comments
Whaea I completely understand where you are coming from...not nearly as bad as your, however wairua is of some understanding...if ever you need an ear from one kiwi to another just message me...no doubt I will be up...lol
Zanobia