noturaverage's Journal

This week was a bit of an eye opener.

I've been forgetting to take my daily medication, and I can feel it in my body

when I've forgotten.

Things seem different without them.As I get a bit more emotional, without the tears.

I took some time off on wed, to catch up with an ex, bad move as I belittled myself and

yeah gave in to temptation.

2maro night, Is the final RCIA group meeting, which is a bit sad.We have been doing our groups since sept 07, and it had become great sharing these nights and experiences with

the few others who attend.

We are to do reconciliation/ confession for the first time, but hey I'm not worried as

I take everything as it comes.

My oldest, who is 10 and a half has been majorly getting under my skin. He has been coming home very late, going to friends places that I dont want him to be at etc.

I'm starting to feel the lack of male roles in his life, and I feel as if I am letting him down.

He seems to think that he can have life his own way, doesnt listen to me etc.

I dunno, a stressful child that 1, but it's rubbing off on the other kids too.

I guess life could be worse.

Tonight I have my 12yr old niece staying with us, she is a beautiful child, that I've always treated as my own.

My sister has never really taking a liking to her own daughter, as she is her only girl.

A rather sad story on her part.

My sister has just had her 3 children returned to her after a year.The CYPS(children and young persons) agency saw her unfit as a mother.Mind you, they weren't wrong.

My niece wants to live with me, but the govt, thinks I already have too many dependants of my own, and that I cannot cope with another, who the beep do they think they are?????????????????????????

Anyway, my sister wouldnt part with her daughter, as she is an income for her, yeah she has a dollar sign above her head.

Now that really bugs me, as money means shit to me.My niece knows I care for her, and crys to be with us, all 7 of us that is.I share my love with my 6 kids, and still have enough to share with many more children.

I ask God to lead me down the right path, and to give me the guidance that I require.

peace be with you all.