CrzyPurpleChic's Journal

Hi all!

I can't believe it, its been one month today since I've cut last!  I can't believe it's been that long, it doesn't seem that long ago. 

I had another short hospital stay last week, it was last tue wed and thursday.  It was the WORST hospital I have ever been to and I am NEVER going back!  So me staying out of the hospital is a MUST!  I have a lot of hard work ahead of me in order to do that, but I can do it.  I'm acctually feeling quite well today and these last couple of days have been going well.  Friday was a little ify.  It marked two months since Teresa had died, my old roommate.  It's totally crazy how quickly life changes, this time for the good.  It's never good to lose a friend, but to feel the way I'm feeling I don't think it would have happened if Teresa hadn't of died.  It's like her death freed me from my own in a way. 

I think I have decided to get a part time job.  I need to get my loans back in repayment and I don't know how else to get enough money to do that is other than to get a job.  But everyone has a job right?, working is a part of life, I'm just starting out a little slower than most.  It will probably just be at Wal-Mart of Target.  it will be something and it will be worth it. 

"The effort is worth it becauase you are worth the effort" Walter Moon

That is the biggest thing I got away from a recent hospital stay.  You know thinking about it sitting here typing this  I wouldn't trade my life for anything, it has completley sucked ass with everything that I've gone through especially just this year, but I wouldn't change it for anything.  I don't like where I am in life, but I've accepted that and am willing to do what it takes to get things better.  I have a lot of sacrafices to make, like no cutting, no more hospital, etc...  but I'm worth the effort damn it and I am going to stand up and claim it!  I am going to have one hell of a story to share one day, it's going to be an amazing story too.    One of these days I'm going to write a book.  a book about love, an amazing unconditional love.  A book about life all it's ups and all it's downs and about the one thing that gets you through anything, God. 

Much love and HUGS to all...