magicalgirl's Journal

I made a list of goals for me and my kids today.  I need to start sticking to them.  My son is autistic and it has been really hard for me.  Ever since he was a baby there was constant pain and frustration to deal with. He developed really slowly, walked late, talked really late ( 5 to 6 years old) and the older he got the more fits he would throw when we couldn't understand him.  He has always been in special classes at school, now he is homeschooled so he is home with me all the time.  Me and my roommate.  It is really tough because my roommate isn't used to kids and especially not autistic ones.  My older son is in school and always busy with other activites too. I get really depressed and stressed out about my younger son.  I feel like i am always walking on eggshells to try to get him not to get my roommate angry by talking back or not doing his chores or something else.  He seems to not like her very much, I think he thinks that she doesn't like him.  He senses it maybe.  I wish I could find a way to get them to bond some.  I wish there was a way to stop the tension between them.  She gets mad at me for sticking up for my son.  I can't help it, it is automatic.  I am defensive about him cause he is special and has trouble keeping his emotions under control.  He is definately lazy and spoiled. I know i have spoiled him because it was so much easier than making him do things.  He is hard to handle sometimes.  I love him so much though.  I just wish there was a magical way to fix him.  I am scared that one day my roommate will want me to put Kevin in a home and i dont want to do that ever.  

Oops the goals are:

1. I want Kevin to be a good boy over all  (even if he gets into fits sometimes, I want it to happen less and less severe)
2. I want to make sure that Kevin and Jr. are both taken care of in the future 
3. I want Jr. to get better grades and go to college
4. I want Kevin to learn to control his emotions better (maybe even try some new meds for sleeping at night too)
5. I want to feel less stressed every day  so that I can be a more relaxed and better mom
6. I want to help Kevin feel happier by being happier myself every day
7. I want to keep dieting and exercising so that I can look and feel better

8. I want to keep going to my therapy appointments and give it a chance to work
9. I want a journal and I want to schedule time to write in it every day  and I want a stuffed animal  

its a start :)