Journal Entry for January 23, 2009
January 23, 2009 7:40pm
Progress
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somedaywriter
2:19pm, August 20, 2009
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About Me
somedaywriter
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About Me
I am 20 years old, I WAS a student at Armstrong Atlantic State in Savannah. I still plan on majoring in English and going onto law school when I can. For now I'm back home in Indy, working on getting a job and slowly working my way back to Savannah to start over. I grew up here in Carmel. I was adopted, along with my biological brother, by my father who is a history teacher and my mother who is a school librarian. I am now currently working full time at Walgreen's pharmacy as a floor worker. I just finished training in photo a few months ago, and am now thoroughly well versed in it i believe. I am now starting training in the pharmacy. Theyre basically training me everywhere so i can fill in the gaps the managers cant get too. Im learning quite a lot. I hate my job and love it at the same time. It can be stressful and yet wonderful. "I thought I knew what love was...What did I know?" -Lyrics: Boys of Summer. I guess the reason I'm here is because...I can't do this alone anymore.
I am 20 years old, I WAS a student at Armstrong Atlantic State in Savannah. I still plan on majoring in English and going onto law school when I can. For now I'm back home in Indy, working on getting a job and slowly working my way back to Savannah to start over. I grew up here in Carmel. I was adopted, along with my biological brother, by my father who is a history teacher and my mother who is a school librarian. I am now currently working full time at Walgreen's pharmacy as a floor worker. I just
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Interests
I love to read, and write, and just being around people. I want to be a lawyer and an author/poet. Ive also decided I want to become the Poet Laureate of the united states before I die. I love animals - especially cats, dogs and horses. I love nature, especially the stars, and the beach, and the sunset. I am in love with Savannah, GA, and would possibly like to become a lawyer there after college. I also would like to finish writing my book and plan on continuing with my poetry.
I love to read, and write, and just being around people. I want to be a lawyer and an author/poet. Ive
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Now and...eh
July 22, 2008 1:28pm
So yeah. Libary didnt happen. However. Awesome job at Walgreens. Thats right. WALGREENS. Kinda like working there. I work with good people, I make …
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Journal Entry for April 30, 2008
April 30, 2008 2:00am
So I've been home for almost a week, and I'm already losing my mind. I applied for a job at the library around the corner from my house but …
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Journal Entry for April 19, 2008
April 19, 2008 6:50pm
My parents are flying me home Monday...Im done here in Savannah...I'm going home and starting over at Ivy Tech and then working my way maybe into …
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My Life Since I Started College
April 16, 2008 5:19am
So there are two sides to my life right now. An amazing and almost perfect side, and a frustrating and very depressing side. The amazing side is …
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close ADHD / ADD
I was diagnosed with ADD in 8th grade, and I have been being treated for it ever since.
Treatments
- Adderall Working / Worked
- Concerta Not Working
- this was one of the first pills they tried me on...It caused a major loss of appetite and minor fainting spells.
- Strattera Not Working
- This was what they tried me on after Concerta. It caused some serious aggression problems as well as more loss of appetite, fainting spells, and an extreme burning in my sinuses on a regular basis.
Close Depression
Type: Seasonal Affective DisorderI was diagnosed with depression in the 8th grade. I still suffer from it from time to time, especially during October and March.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- It was a major help to start, although its not anywhere near as necessary anymore as it was. But it is nice to have when the seasonal depression decides to kick in.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- I guess I have support. My parents knew something needed to be done when they first realized something was wrong. My friends, dont really get it quite that much but they seem to know that sometimes I just cant do anything about it.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing is something that has worked for me for pretty much any problem I have had...it does not fix it, but it definitely helps to remove some frustration.
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- This is the pill they started me on and it has worked ever since. The only problem is if I miss a day, I will be very overly sensitive and emotional and feel very vulnerable. So helpful hint: if you take this do everything you can to take your pill when you're supposed to.
Open Family & Friends of Bipolar
My mother is bipolar, though I wouldnt notice it. She didnt start talking to me about it until after I was diagnosed with my depression/anxieties/ADD. And even now we still hardly talk about it.
Open Anxiety
I was diagnosed with Anxiety problems in the 8th grade. It started with me not being able to make myself go to school. It got to the point that I would either lock up in front of the door or my body would just shut down and I would not be able to get out of my bed or even a chair. But they put me on zoloft and once I was adapted to it, I was right back up on my feet and have been ever since. I still have some anxiety type attacks, especially when dealing with extreme guilt.
Treatments
- Risperdal Working / Worked
- I am no longer taking this because it seems to have caused some minor weight gain issues and my therapist did not want it to impede upon my health, but for the time I took it it worked very well.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- This has worked very well for my Anxieties. It balanced me right back out with my depression and anxiety problems and I got right back on my feet.
Open Codependency
I have not been officially diagnosed with codependency or codependent tendencies, but I know myself and I know well enough based on my research that I am almost totally sure that I am a victim of this idea of codependency in relationships. My problem is that it isnt zeroed out on one specific relationship, but I find myself being codependent with multiple guys in particular. I love my current boyfriend, but unfortunately I sometimes can't tell the difference between this relationship and others.
Treatments
Open Physical & Emotional Abuse
I have dealt with some very painful emotional/ semi-physical abuse from my brother in the past 6 or 7 years, as well as a minor issue with physical abuse that I had with my first boyfriend when I was a freshman.
Treatments
- Leave Working / Worked
- My brother was the main reason I wanted to get out of state. He may not have realized the painful effect he was having on me or my parents, but it was there. I am a sensitive person, and as you can imagine his constant verbal abuse and violent facade did not help.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Ranting seems to help a bit sometimes.
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Adoption
I was adopted along with my biological brother at a very young age. He was adopted before me, right after he was born. He is now 22 and I am 18...my parents are wonderful people and I couldnt feel more loved in my home. Unfortunately the one person I am blood related to in my family, my brother, is the only person I do not get along with. We have our moments - simple things when he'll just need a small favor etc. But the love that should exist between brother and sister seems to be nonexistant.
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Asthma
Type: Cough Variant AsthmaI was diagnosed with asthma after a minor panic attack in the 6th grade.
Treatments
- Albuterol Working / Worked
- I take it when I need it. Leaves a nasty taste but gets the job done!!
Open College Stress
I love it here at my college, but I've been here for about 8 weeks and still haven't made any friends. Im the only person in any of my classes from Indiana and I do not know anyone.
Treatments
Open Self-Injury
There were a few minor incidences in my life towards the beginning of high school when I found myself holed up in my room or a bathroom slicing the palm of my left hand in multiple places, simply because of the pain I was going through, and the distraction I needed.
Treatments
- Squeezing Ice Working / Worked
- It helped to clear out the burning from the sweat. But thats about it.
- Talking Working / Worked
- There's only really a few people I'm close with that know I ever did this, and they all seem to understand.
Open Sexual Abuse
I was a victim of molestation by my boyfriend when I was 15. I dont think I really need to get into details. Basically, I was asleep, and when I woke up, things were where they shouldnt be.
Treatments
Open Teen Anxiety
I was diagnosed with Anxiety problems in the 8th grade. It started with me not being able to make myself go to school. It got to the point that I would either lock up in front of the door or my body would just shut down and I would not be able to get out of my bed or even a chair. But they put me on zoloft and once I was adapted to it, I was right back up on my feet and have been ever since. I still have some anxiety type attacks, especially when dealing with extreme guilt.
Treatments
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Panic Attacks
It doesnt happen often...but when it does its like Im dying. For some reason guilt seems to be the biggest trigger of panic attacks...I will get sick to my stomach, end up in cold sweats, and get very weak.
Treatments
- Zoloft Working / Worked
- This seems to be the only problem I have the Zoloft does not work for...I do not think there is a treatment for guilt...
Open Phobia
I have an extreme fear of tornados. I can deal with fake ones in movies, but the second I know about one touching ground in the same state, I freak out and tend to hyperventilate.
Open Environmental Allergies
Type of allergy: OtherIve been dealing with allergies since I was about five...they are annoying as hell but the medicine seems to help, and I'm dealing with them much better than I used to. Im allergic to pollen, dust, mold, and mildew.
Treatments
Open Trichotillomania (Hair Pulling)
Type: TrichotillomaniaI've just recently noticed this problem with me, it seems to come up the most when I am depressed, frustrated, or bored. Im doing fine with this because my stress level is fairly low. But A week or so ago it was a big problem and it was hard not to start.
Open Family Issues
I have been dealing with blatant verbal and some minor physical abuse from my brother for about 8 years now. I thought it was just sibling rivalry and that we would grow out of it, but he is 22 now, and its only getting worse and more painful to stand. Even my mom admits to me in private that how he treats me is abusive. But nothing is done because hed refuse help anyways.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Talking Working / Worked
- Writing Working / Worked
Open Insomnia
My insomnia mainly comes from my anxiety issues (according to my therapist) Its not as bad as it was when I was in junior high and high school, but there are still the occastional nights that I simply go completely without sleep.
Treatments
- Music Working / Worked
- Just distracts me enough to calm me down for sleep.
- Reading Working / Worked
- Sometimes helps to calm me down.
- Risperdal Working / Worked
- This worked but my therapist took me off of it because he thought it might end up causing too much of an increase in appetite. I did put on some weight because of this, but I was a twig anyways, so I think I'm actually healthier now. Unfortunately it did lead to some annoying stretchmarks. But. whatcha gonna do...
Open Families & Friends Affected By Suicide
My great uncle committed suicide when I was in 8th grade. It was scary. My parents told me it was because of a pill he was on that caused depression and thoughts of suicide(Nexium, I think...). I guess I got over it. Its just a bit scary to me sometimes. You wouldnt have known it was coming if you knew him. He was always a very cheerful man. I wasnt very close to him. Kind of wish I had been now. Hes was the closest thing I had to a grandpa.
Treatments
Open Pneumonia
I had really bad pneumonia as a child. I think I was in the second grade. But my lungs have been a bit weak ever since. I know I have asthma, but sometimes you can tell thats not the problem. When the coughs get heavy and a bit painful, I know it cant just be the asthma.
Open Financial Challenges
I dont know how to budget myself...and now I owe the bank money...Im a college student so this is a big problem for me...my only food source now is the school cafeteria...This could be a lot worse but its still a problem.
Open Loneliness
I dont really know if I qualify. I've recently been having a really hard time with the distance in my current relationship...it would be completely perfect if he weren't 6 hours away. And now its getting worse because I have no way to distract myself with a regular social life. Most of my friends are out of town going to college, and in some cases the friendships are just fading.
Treatments
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- It distracts me momentarily...but over all I just end up with something pretty and depressing.
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