MermaidSinger's Journal

Hello everyone! It certainly has been an eventful September for me! I'll start with the bad news- I didn't get the part I wanted for the play. I hate to sound cocky or braggy, but I really was perfect for the part. It was an awkward, self-conscious, dorky bird. Minus the bird part, that is me to a T. So guess who gets it? My confident, quietly snobby friend who is secretary of the D.Co. She is nice and all but she should not have gotten the part, it just made her head swell and she isnt even all that good. It's not fair how some people who don't deserve it get everything whikle others just get nothing at all. I decided I coulsdn't deal with watching all these people who shouldnt have gotten leads parade around. I was going out of my mind. It was bad- it was almost the end. It was definitely sink or swim time. And I am very proud of myself because I chose to swim.

 I made the choice to quit the play and leave D.co for awhile. I've gotten a lot of flack for my decision. People say I'm being a diva, I'll never get a good part again, etc. But I had to do what was right for me. I'm very happy with my choice and wouldn't trade it at all. I have been focusing on my grades and pulling all A's and a B, even with AP and Honors classes. It's tough work but the feeling I get when I see my tests and assignment grades roll in is ubeatable. I didn't make National Honor Society, because I was so entrenched in ED freshman and sophomore year. That is one of the few thnigs in life I regret, not trying harder in school these past two years and wasting all my effort on my body and Drama Company neither of which deserved my time or worry. but I'm trying now, and I will have excellent grades for my junior and senior year. I will pull my GPA up these next two years. I'm not going to Harvard or anything, but I do want to go to a good school. I plan on using my ED story for my college admissions essay, hehe!

        Anyways, I am trying more and more to live and be happy. My grades really were the key for me here. It was impossible for me to feel good about myself when I was slacking off and not living up to my potential. Now that I'm giving all this effort, the results are paying off and I'm happier than ever. I have branched out and gotten closer to friends outside of Drama Company, which is also key.

    Drama Company was truly killing me. I don't mean to place the blame anywhere, but after leaving them, my life has doubled in happiness. I don't want to jinx everything, but things are getting better everyday. I still have my moments, but the sun shines just a little bit more with each day I try my best and avoid the things that bring me down.