Join Now
MermaidSinger 
12:36am, October 4, 2009
Hello everyone! I had a bit of a scare. I went out to Friendly's today with my friend Hannah. I made three bathroom trip which raised very high suspicions from both Hannah and the rest of the restaurant, who I could just tell were staring at me. But I won't get into that. The scary thing is, there was blood on my fingers when I looked at them after purging. Not like gushes of blood, but I was still nervous. I think I tore something. I haven't been seeing a therapist. I keep mentioning to my parents that I need another appointment, but my mom just tells me I need to leanr how to deal life and can't have a tehrapist for everything. To her credit, I don't think she knows the extent of how bad it has gotten. I have been purging at least once daily for two months straight, with an average of three times a day. I think I am entrenched in bulimia. Anorexia and bulimia are two different worlds and they are both scary as hell, but with bulimia, I think you feel more. Anorexia numbed me out way more, and my brain was starved of everything. With bulimia, I purge to relase stress. I am crazy. I don't feel great lately either. I had a dream last night that my throat tore open from all the purging and I died. No one came to my funeral and my teachers and friends were relieved that they didn't have to deal with me at school anymore.
I read somewhere that people only dream the truth.
Comments
I think you need to tell your mom how bad it is Meg....She needs to know and if you want to live, you have to. telling her everything as scary as it is will save your life. If you can't and you want her to know, write her or..hell I'll talk to her. Whatever it takes to get you on the road to recovery. Huge hugs!
ChefJess
did the therapist help? did u stop purging when seeing one? im guessing not....and i REALLY am wondering if some kind of ED program would be the best route for u at the moment...blood on the fingers after purging is a MAJOR sign that ur actions are taking their toll on ur body...and that ur body isnt able to hold up to it any more...its only gonna get worse unless u do something about it...and sitting in a therapists office for 40 min once a week isnt gonna stop the bleeding.......
missyS
I know it's hard to spill to your mom. But I am thinking it might be a good idea!
beiceth
Honey you need to tell your Mom how bad ED is. You need help, really, really badly. You at least need an outpatient program.
GiselleSylphide
I pm'd you girl
intheblues
Your mom needs to know just how bad your ED is. You can do some serious damage to yourself if you keep going down the route your going. Purging is bad but binging and purging is worse.
rebecca20091