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MermaidSinger 
12:36am, October 4, 2009
Hello all and hope you are doing well. This journal entry finds me in a precarious position. Recently, one of the girls who I had been trying to please, who is really a sweet girl, messaged me. She said she was noticing I seemed really sad and not myself lately and did I want to hang out? I was floored. Here I had been thinking she'd been ignoring me, but she went on to explain that she'd been experiencing some psychological issues of her own, like anxiety and depression lately, and she was sorry for not noticing and caring sooner, but did I want to hang out this weekend? I was floored. She asked me for help on her singing since "I'm such an amazing singer". I don't know what to think. I still want to stick to my promise to surround myself with real friends and not artificial ones just because of their status. But I had a really long chat with her last night, and she seems genuine. We talked about my ED and body image and the rle media has on girls. She's been dieting ehr whole life and knows the merry go round and rollar coaster weight can be. I think I really like her, but I'm still confused. This is all I ever wanted, and now that I'm hanging out with her, I realize she's not the perfect, superhuman person I set her out to be. She's normal. And I'm anxious our date is going to go wildly off course and end up being awkward with both of us coughing and talknig about the weather with long silences, or even worse, that my parents will embarass the living crap out of me. My brother is at my grandmas, so thats good, but my mom and ad will still be home and god love em but I wish they would GET THE HELL OUT. After all, this is my first get together with Murm (her real name's maryam) and I want it to go PERFECT dammit! But then there's also the voice of reason that says I shouldn't be so anxious about trying to please her, but I can't help but have that little bit of anxiety. What's your guy's opinion on this whole fiasco?
LOVE
Megs
Comments
hmmmm well i would say- you should for sure go! get out- have fun, you deserve it! about the anxiety, i think thats only normal. but im glad your realizing that the girl you thought was always perfect is not so perfect and she actually has things that shes dealing with herself. thats my opinion;)
mirimouse3
I say you should hang out with her. She does sound genuine, but I would be a little cautious at first. Make sure she really is for real and if not go back to your real firends, but do try, you never know
skinnygirl2525
Be completely yourself, but don't share too much with her at first. Just have fun and if she is a real friend then you will have nothing to worry about with your family being there. Please try not to have expectations or to want things to be perfect because they jsut can't be. But if she is as nice as she seems then she will be great company no matter what happens. i am glad you are seeing that she is not as perfect as you thought though. It is good to realize that the people we sometimes think are flawless in reality have just as many issues as anyone else. No one is flawless or has it completely together. Have fun and most importantly JUST BE YOURSELF!!! If she doesn't like you as yourself then you don't want to waste your time with her and it is better to find that out as soon as possible rather than later. Hugs! Let us know how it goes...
emibee3
Oooh, how fun! I hope she's as nice and caring as she sounds. I say go for it and don't hold back! I know how awkward these get togethers can be, but knowing you, I know you'll be just a joy to hang out with. And don't worry about your parents. I think we ALL have embarrassing parents. (Hehe)
Actress01
i say go with it, but have your guard up. You need to protect yourself from fakers. I love you.
BlindFaith29
I want you to know that you are so wise beyond your years it is amazing! I just read your letter (I'm catching up) and you have realized some things it takes most of us our entire lives to realize! So, I think you should really give yourself a little credit for that! Also, I think it is so great you talked with this girl and it sounds like you may have a lot in common with her and could both support/help eachother out. I think you can hold true to your goal to not harm yourself in trying to please others, and still hang out with her.. you just have to do it by being true to yourself.. BE who you are.. and my dear, if she is worth anything (which i think she probably is) she will see how amazing you are! You are not only so wise and caring, you are funny adn full of spunk! And she is lucky to spend time with you! I'm jealous :) Please let us know how it goes and please just be yourself!
ginnybeth
Well I'm not sure if you ended up hanging out with this girl or not, but I say go for it! Just stay true to yourself and remember that you don't need to be anyone but yourself. If she ends up being stuck up, don't let it get to you. If she doesn't like you for who you are, then she isn't worth your time.
gcshorty5
that cool, I think sometimes we think the reason people aren't making an effort to hang out with us means somethings wrong with us, but in reality, it may be that they are dealing with their own problems as well.
freedomplease