This was my reaction to everything I feared
October 4, 2009 12:57am
Hello everyone! It certainly has been an eventful September for me! I'll start with the bad news- I didn't get the part I wanted for the …
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MermaidSinger
12:36am, October 4, 2009
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About Me
MermaidSinger
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About Me
Hello everybody, my names Megan, but some people call me Meg, Meggers, or Leggo Meggo (as in leggo my eggo). I have anorexia and bulimia and I also self injure. I am determined to get help, recover, and get my life back. I love theater. I am passionate about acting and singing, and I am also learning how to dance. I take voice lessons and piano. I love animals and I'm a vegetarian. I am obsessed with the Little Mermaid and anything to do with mermaids. My dream is to be Ariel on Broadway someday. I am always willing to lend a hand and hope that you would be interested in supporting me in my recovery journey, and I am more than happy to be of support to anybody else. I am headstrong, opinionated, and crazy. I never shut up and often baffle the hell out of people. My weakness is that I care too much. I love my family and friends.I love life and think it is the most precious, amazing thing.
Hello everybody, my names Megan, but some people call me Meg, Meggers, or Leggo Meggo (as in leggo my eggo). I have anorexia and bulimia and I also self injure. I am determined to get help, recover, and get my life back. I love theater. I am passionate about acting and singing, and I am also learning how to dance. I take voice lessons and piano. I love animals and I'm a vegetarian. I am obsessed with the Little Mermaid and anything to do with mermaids. My dream is to be Ariel on Broadway someday.
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Interests
I love the stage, whether I'm performing or watching others. I sing nonstop. I love to daydream. Writing is one of my favorite ways to vent. I love writing poems and stories to get my feelings out. I absolutely love being in the water. I love to laugh, and I'll love you forever if you can make me do so. I also love spending time with the people in my life. I am a very social person. There's nothing better than sitting down with some tea(always green, sometimes hot, sometimes iced) and a magazine or good novel. I enjoy a good creative project, like making a collage or scrapbooking. I think animals are the purest and most wonderful beings, and that we can learn a lot from them.
I love the stage, whether I'm performing or watching others. I sing nonstop. I love to daydream. Writing
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Trigger.
September 3, 2009 9:48pm
I'm out of my fucking mind. I am absolutely fucknig crazy.
I was looking forward to this girls day out Saturday but everyone cancelled and …
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I'm a hazard to myself.
August 27, 2009 8:30pm
Hello everyone! Hope you're doing well!
You know what I've noticed? A lot of the time, my smiley is always yellow. Numb. I just stay in …
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Journal Entry for August 22, 2009
August 22, 2009 10:50pm
Hello everyone! I had a bit of a scare. I went out to Friendly's today with my friend Hannah. I made three bathroom trip which raised very high …
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Miss Chubby Pants.
August 21, 2009 10:14pm
Hello everyone! I'm kind of forcing myself to journal right now. I'm not really in the mood to divulge anything, but I know I need to get …
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Hugbook
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u around anymore?
Miss You
Miss youuuuuuuuuuuuu. =(
Funny Face
.....................................where ARE YOU?????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! :(
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hi can we be friends? :)
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r we fb friends?
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Self-Injury
I've been self injuring for two years now. I have trouble being honest about my feelings to others, and take the frustration out on myself.
Treatments
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- Paxil did reduce my anxiety levels quite a bit, but I don't think it made a significant dent in my cutting.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- It has been a constant battle for me to end this terrible coping mechanism. With the support of my pyschologist, I hope to be able to do so.
- Squeezing Ice Not Working
- I know that this is only a temporary fix. It only works depending on my mood and if I'm willing to give it a chance.
- Talking Working / Worked
- My friends who know are, in general, extremely supportive. I am very lucky to have them. They care about me greatly. I don't, however, talk to my family very much about my self injury.
Close Eating Disorders
Type: AnorexiaI have anorexia, bulimia, and bouts of compulsive overeating. I have been underweight, nearly overweight, and normal weight. I struggle daily with food. I hope one day to be at peace with it and live my life without obsessing over what goes into my mouth and how to get it out.
Treatments
- Dietitian Consult Somewhat Helpful
- I went to a dietician consultant when I was first diagnosed with Anoerxia nervosa. I made a genuine effort to follow her meal plans for a while, but soon I was back to my old tricks.
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- I was on Paxil for my anxiety, which is a major part of my problem. However, once my eating disorder was full blown, the pill barely did a thing.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- My pyschologist is wonderful. Therapy, for me, is a large part of recovery. It helps to be able to understand my behavior and have ways to combat it. It is also necessary to face problems I would otherwise shove away.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Again, I am a very lucky girl. I have lots of friends who care and a family who, however misguided, does love me. No matter what hell I put people through, by making them watch me starve and purge my way to oblivion, they always stick around. I am so thankful for their love and support.
Open ADHD / ADD
I have ADD. I have a very limited attention span and motivation for things I'm not interested in. My mind wanders and I have trouble buckling down and getting things done.
Treatments
Open Environmental Allergies
Type of allergy: OtherI am severely allergic to bees, specifically wasps. My eighth grade year I got stung during school and had to be taken away in an ambulance. That was a wake up call. I have to have an Epipen and Benadryl at the school at all times, and I carry them with me.
Treatments
- Allergy Shots Working / Worked
- I had allergy shots for a year. They were painful and quite a hassle. But they worked!
- EpiPen Working / Worked
- Epipen saved my life when I was 14.
Open Vegetarians & Vegans
Type: VegetarianI have been a vegetarian since the age of 10 because I love animals and it is against my personal beliefs to kill them for our use. I don't eat meat, chicken, fish, or eggs. I don't know if someday I would ever eliminate all dairy from my diet, but I think maybe somedya when I'm older I might.
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI have had clinical depression for seven years now. I do well for awhile, and then fall back into the dark trap. I have many unhealthy ways of coping, including my eating disorder and self injury, that stem from my depression.
Treatments
- Effexor Not Working
- I do not think this works for me at all. I would prefer to be on Paxil again, but my mother insists I stay on this pill despite it's ineffectiveness.
- Music Working / Worked
- Music is the universal healer. With just a song my mood can be lifted and I have the determination to get through just one more day.
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- I was on Paxil for four years. It allowed me to go through periods of happiness, but I did suffer through some pretty major depressive episodes.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Always necessary, but somtimes very hard. It's important for me to at least try to be optimistic so I have the motivation to get better.
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I am able to work through my feelings with someone who offers guidance and ways to cope. It helps me greatly.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- I have a lot of wonderful people in my life, but ultimately, only I am the one who can combat my depression. It does, however, help tremendously to have such an outpouring of love and support.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing has always been a release for me. I tend to keep my depression bottled up or push it away with unhealthy coping mechanisms. Writing lets me express myself when I am sad, angry, frustrated, or hopeless.
Open Anxiety
I have had severe anxiety for the past two years, however, I have suffered from anxiety my whole life. It goes hand in hand with my depression.
Treatments
- Breathing Exercises Working / Worked
- I have trouble breathing during panic attacks, and breathing right does calm me down.
- Paxil Somewhat Helpful
- I was put on Paxil after an extreme anxiety attack at the age of ten. After trying another medicine for two years, I went on Paxil at age 12. It worked fairly well, but I was then switched off of it and my anxiety has sky rocketed.
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- Obviously trying to think positively is key to a happy life, however, thinking positively alone is not enough to fend of anxiety.
Open High School Stress
Well my high school stress is a big part of why I have an eating disorder and why I cut. I don't cope with rejection well, and I do theater, which is a rejection filled business. I am constantly comparing myself to the other kids, and it makes me miserable. High school greatly contributes to my depression and anxiety, my eating disorder, and my self injury. Although I have made some wonderful memories, I look forward to the day when it is in my past.
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- My pyschologist is very reassuring and helps me realize that rejection makes me stronger and high school is only a small part of my life and who I am. It does not define me.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- My family is a good place to go to get away from the stresses of high school, and I do have many true friend to rely on who make high school bearable. Plus, a lot of them have the same feelings I do, which makes me feel less alone.
- Writing Working / Worked
- As with my other problems, writing works wonders. I journal and write poems and songs about my experiences to have a way to get them off of my chest.
