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Amalfie 
4:51am, August 8, 2008
Still cant locate the Bugles snacks... did they stop making them? Anyhow, in 2 days first month anniversary of step-son's death. We are doing ok. I am changing jobs next week. i still haven't made the commitment to go back to healthful eating habits... and i am struggling with that. why wont i make the "right" choice for myself? why do i procrastinate about something that is vital; my health/life?? i dont "get" it... it makes no sene rationally. so it must make sense UN-rationally somewhere, right? Stands to reason... I guess i should uncover ther easons why staying in this downward spiral is so preferable to changing and feeling good and being strong. Sigh. well, thanks so much to all of you who keep sending hugs and encourageing words. very much appreciated and I am grateful.
Comments
Life definitely has its own agenda. 12 days ago my husband's oldest son died; he was 31 yrs old. He had been in a coma for 12 days/he was either hit by a car or assaulted; all his ID and wallet/money was missing when he was found; he was found unresponsive in seizure in the street with severe head trauma. i am almost glad of the horrendous journey i have ahd in my life; because that taught me to live one second at a time; one hour/one day... never try to take on the next week or year; you will crash and burn major...
So, I am the calm one, except when i have my alone freak-out moments!! My husband is going thru a rough greiving period.
I just wanted to note this in my journal.
may I say that reading everyone's thoughts and musings and watching the Digest board for the "You know you are fat when" replies ahs been very very inspirational. Thank goodness we have eachother!!
PS: anyone else able to explain inexplicable "Bugles' snack cravings??? weird..
...
its been a cry/laugh few weeks!!!
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Keep track of the stress and make sure to give yourself time to relax. I don't get any of the e-mailings from DS, too much e-mail as is, but I try to keep up with the community forum. Wishing you some Florida sunshine.
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hugs hun xx joanne
I am writing here, but i am trying to reply to the daily digest that has been going around - "You know you are fat when" - because it seems a couple people are worried that the whole laughing at yourself thing is another avoidance tactic. I dont think that is the case here; this is just a really amazing list of people who have experienced the same/similar things about being obese; and suddenly, we have found a place that we can share those weird/embarrassing/comical things that have occurred while dealing with our weight - suddenly we are not alone. I just wanted to say that I have never felt judged or degraded by any of the entries; and I hope people keep adding their own to the list; knowing that there are other people besides myself that buy non-tying shoes and avoid button-snap or zipping pants; or that have had the horrid experience of being stuck in to-small seats, or had air-mattresses burst from under them; is like a breath of fresh air to my isolated soul! Thank goodness/ and thank YOU for sharing yourselves; so I can feel like i have a chance to be human again; I can go on despite these things; and know that others are stuggling along the way with me... I just wanted to say, I don't think these jokes are demeaning in any way; I think it's a relief for many of us to know that theses things aren't isolated incidents!!!
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i am one of many who wrote on you know you are fat when .i would never write to hurt others .your right when you say its a hey i am not alone in this kind of thing.
i wrote private and unsaid for the same reason .so we dont feel alone in all this.
not everything is a put down.
i am with you on this one friend xxxx hugs and hugs xxx joanne
Past Entries
| August 2007 |
Wednesday, 8/01
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July 2007 |
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Monday, 7/16
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May 2007 |
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Thursday, 5/31
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January 2007 |
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Friday, 1/26
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It's MAY, middle of MAY already... can't believe time flies by so fast. So many health issues this year. Sometiesm I am overwhelmed by the amount of "work" I have to do to get healthy again. Some days, it's not worth it and I just prefer to stay under the covers and not face the world from my dysfunctional body. And then, I get the "Boppers" --when i get a Bop on the head from my guardian angel (?) who reminds me of all the things I have to be thankful for. Because even though my issues get me down, I know I am not the only one facing challenges. Maybe life is just like that - few years of never ending truama and stres, and maybe a reprieve is around the corner. All I know is, so far, I have learned 2 things. 1: Nothing is easy. 2: Accept the good when it comes.
Amalfie