sparklyangst's Journal

i am pretty sure i had severe myoclonic seizures last night.  i was kept up until 2am when i finally couldn't have my eyes open anymore, even during the painful and extreme involuntary movements.  the awful uncontrollable and huge movements that made me curl up and stretch out and make my hands clench up, and cry out in pain, fear and frustration for three hours.  i thought i was having really bad muscle spasms, as i've had smaller although still troublesome issues with my shoulders.  doing some research i have discovered that muscle cramps and spasms are used interchangably and what i had going on, was huge and painful involuntary movements.  are these muscle spasms?. i am scared and exhausted.  should i arrange to go to neurologist again? i'm not sure where to put this information, except maybe in the seizure forum but i wanted to get this out and perhaps i'll get some feedback to help me decide what to do and whether or not to post this in the epilepsy forum.  i hate the "muscle spasms"  as i've called them and i wonder if they were indeed seizures.  damn it.  i better get to the doctor.  i'll have to call around on my lunch break tomorrow and see if i can get in.  i'll have to see a new neurologist as my previous asshole neuro has retired from his practice.  i hate neuro's bedside manners, i hate how they almost always don't take me seriously.  oh misery!