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DTHCAB4 
12:32am Thursday
Friends that build you up are the most important ones to have. They don't care if you're imperfect. They don't always criticize you. They understand your frustrations. They allow you to vent. They do an equal amount of listening as they do talking. They believe in you. They help you figure out your problems. They allow you to be yourself. They allow you to want to be better without pinpointing your flaws. They allow you to have your space. They allow you to feel those negative feelings, knowing they will pass. They let you be you. They love you, unconditionally.
Destructive friends do none of the above. They put you down. The blame you for their and others' failures. They claim you drag them with every negative word you say. They make you feel dumb. They make you feel unimportant. They make you feel unworthy. They make you not want to live anymore.
The ratio of friends I have, in terms of these descriptions, is 0:1 :(
To change this balance is to change my life.
To change my mood.
To change how I feel about this world.
To change my decision to whether I want to live or.......
To die!
Comments
I hope you putting this entry out made you feel a little better. Please don't do anything you'll regret. It maybe not now but I'm sure you'll find a good friend in time if you hold on.
jsun
jsun!! Missed you!! Thanks...I know I haven't been here for soo long. Sometimes I know it's easier to hide behind the facade of a computer screen, but know that what I put out here is true and sincere. I'm no faker, and never have been!
This was venting as a result of some people's negative way of venting their frustrations on other people! I'm tired of people using me as their scapegoat, their pincushion, their door mat...yet sometimes I wonder, am I just THINKING that when they don't think that all....
DTHCAB4
It sounds all to familiar to me and I totally understand! i have friends but sometimes i feel i can't be totally open with them, so i vent on ds. It does help. Don't worry i never doubted a thing you put out here, it's how you feel at the moment and your allowed to vent. I encourage you to continue to express yourself. Hey i missed you too!!!
jsun
I can relate. I have a few friends now, but to be honest it's only my fiance I am open with. I'll admit, I'm not completely open with my friends, because they are not always understanding. I have also had destructive friends. Those experiences made me realize that it's better not having friends and finding the right ones than being around hurtful ones. You will find friends, the right friends who will accept you totally! :)
closer
Thanks again to jsun and closer for your supportive words :)
DTHCAB4
yeah..i can relate to...
your post though made me realize i've been a destructive friend recently to someone that i never want to be that way with....must go apologize...guess uplifting/destructive thing can work both ways...
***HUGS*** Take care and God bless.
Ellocin