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smileLisa 
9:05pm
Gosh it has become SO obvious to me that I am not "me" without my workouts. 
I don't feel the same mentally or physically and my food intake is shaky. Overall, this week's calories are probably fine for maintaining my weight (I might need more cals with exercise) but right now, I feel like a HUGE piece is missing from my life. 
I have come to the conclusion that in order for me to maintain not just my weight but my healthy lifestyle, exercise is imparitive. And it has been hard not to exercise. I go on a drive and all I can think is "how fun would it be to RUN this route?!"
Seriously, I'm insane but I LOVE the strong feeling of accomplishment and satisfaction that I get after a workout or a run.... 
Hopefully my doctor will let me start back up next week! (pray for that guys!!)
That being said, I ate TOO MUCH today... 
(yuck)
Friday's Food
Pre-breakfast:
curves bar (100)
Breakfast with Ashly!!
egg white omellete with cheddar cheese (300)
small fruit cup (80)
1/3 of my hash browns-2ish oz (140)
Snack:
1 hardboiled egg white (20)
watermellon (and no, NOT a whole one!
LOL! 150)
Lunch:
power size strawberry nirvana smoothie from Jamba Juice (310)
protein clif bar (270)
Dinner @ Ruby's (again):
1/2 hawaiian roll, plain (50)
fries (300)
1/2 black forest shake (250)
An apple and cashew salad with no bleu cheese and I swapped out the pomegranette dressing with the nonfat sesame dressing (150?)
TOTAL=2,120 calories
I am still full from dinner... clearly I ate too much today, but it's not like I binged on chocolate cake or cookies. Most of my food was healthy, but it was just TOO much for me without the exercise. It is frustrating to have to keep readjusting my calories as my life and weight and exercise changes, but I guess the fact that I have to keep tweaking my food intake is helping get better at sensing and listening to my body as it and its needs change. Let's pray for a good result Sunday! I am 90% of the way to my doctor's appointment- ONLY ONE DAY LEFT!!! yaaay!!
UPDATED GOALS
10day coutdown to health!
Progress 90%
Encouragements: 6
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Comments
Sometimes life gets really tough I guess we just have to power through these challenges like we do during a workout. Hard situations and crappy feelings can really throw you for a loop. The fact that you are not falling off the wagon in the face of the stress really impresses me! You are right on about the calorie re-adjusting you're doing...it will help you in the long run to know yourself better. Sometimes it has to be OK for OK to be good enough. If we didn't have hard days then we wouldn't recognize the stellar ones right? My day friggin sucked the big one. I'll think of it as a setup for my success tomorrow. So I'm praying for your appointment to go right so you can get back to feeling yourself. You are awesome, I really look up to you, and hope I succeed like you have or even 1/4th as well as you have. Doubt I'll ever LOVE the exercise or dream about running anywhere! Maybe I'll get there.
((((((((HUGS))))))))
Emily75
I get exactly what you mean about not feling like yourself w/out excercise and I think that simply means you have made it such an important part of your life! When I get down to onderland, I am looking forward to running again, cause it is a great feeling like no other!! thanks for reminding me and inspiring me! I am pulling for you like crazy that the doc gives you the green light to start SLOWLY back into your routine again. I can't tell you how incredible you have been through your ordeal. When bad news flares up or I am sidelined for a while I will remember how you maintained and reamained steady and strong through it. You rock, girl!!!!!
Docc
Awww - I still say send some of that extra motivation over here. I keep waiting for my epiphany moment where I start to love exercise. For me, its still more momentum - if I take a few days off its hard to get back on the horse so to speak, but in the middle of the week it becomes habit. Hopefully one day we all have the moment where we start loving it as much as you do! Anyway, do take it easy if the doc gives you the okay. No running 5 miles the first day out... you don't want to relapse after you have worked so hard to get healthy. By the way, thanks for getting so excited about my running! Your excitement is just plain contagious.
WyominJo
Cheer up! I'm sure your doctor will give you the go ahead for exercising. And if he doesn't you should beat him up with your "man arms" until he does. hehe
Jaime1313
I THINK YOUR DOING GREAT AND HAVE DONE VERY WELL WITH THE TIME OFF THAT YOU HAD. I BET YOU WILL HAVE YOUR EXERCISE CLOTHES ON WHEN YOU GO TO THE DR. YOU HAVE A DR APPT ON A SUNDAY, NOT MANY DR AROUND HERE ARE OPEN ON A SUNDAY, LUCKY DOG! START YOUR WEEK OUT RIGHT - FULL FORCE AND A FULL WEEK :) GLAD YOUR ENJOYING TIME WITH ASHLEY, SOUNDS LIKE FUN! TAKE CARE AND BEST WISHES AND ONLY GOOD RESULTS AT THE DR.
KACKY