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Kat887 
8:53pm, November 29, 2008
I can't stand being at my parent's house anymore. I'm here for the holidays and it's nice to be in Chicago to see friends and a few family members I like, but other than that, I am crawling out of my skin. My dad started drinking at some point before 1:30 in the afternoon and didn't stop until around midnight. He was so drunk and embarrassing and both my older brother and I are here and have to listen to him and put up with him. He picks fights with me and makes all kinds of derogatory comments. He's called me a whore and a freak and picks at everything I do. And now I'm sitting here on the computer on the other end of the house and I still feel compelled after all these years to get up and check on him and make sure he's not passed out on the floor or made a big mess or something. Why do I take care of them? Him in particular? I hate it and I hate being here, it makes everything feel worse. I get so anxious and wound up and tense. My neck hurts from being so tense. I just want to go home so I can maybe feel a little bit more normal again. I can't stand the chaos. It makes me want to cut and keeps me awake at night and I can't stand it.
Comments
I know what it's like to live with a drunk hun. My mom is one. She has been doing better...but spending the holidays at their house was a nightmare for me as well.
Especially when I was practically kicked out of the area that my sleeping quarters were. Which were upstairs, I was sent to my sister's room, which was downstairs. The very reason I moved out was because I was tired of babysitting my mom and being told that if I wanted to do my own thing...then I should move out.
I know how you feel....but I hope you do take care of yourself. Do remember how far you've come. You've accomplished so much. And you're so worth a better life. *hugs*
ImpulsiveREtardednes