Loved1's Journal

Odd I worried about Thanksgiving plans since my sis's family is in such a state of dis-ease - divorce, sis's live in addict bf the kids dislike, neglected kids.  Mom found out yesterday sis was fired 6 weeks ago.  We used to work at the same school.  She was a higher up.  Absenteeism.

I told mom it's probably better since my sis doesn't tell me stuff that I dont hear it from her because it hurts too much.  She said "it's not all about you".  I am tired of the triangle, that 99% of the news of her I get is through mom - enough!  My sis even used to call Mom to give me msgs instead of my cell phone (?)  Anyway to hear how my sis is handling it - denial, blame, lack of taking responsibility, wanting to go to court, doesn't surprize me, but still hurts because she is just not healthy for me so I guess it's ok she's not contacting me.  I wish she would not be such a blamer but maybe I'm doing the same thing by pointing her out to be problematic.  Now the kids, I can contact, but am not in the habit.  I've put myself in an awkward spot of avoidance.

At first I thought I could give her money to have Thanksgiving dinner.  Then I realized I am not comfortable going - her bf is abusive, so is she, dad doesn't want to be around the bf.  It's just so awkward.

Reading my Al Anon book helps.

I went to a meeting yesterday and struggled with staying, I've been avoiding them the last week and burned out.  Schedule with work takes up most of day, and being away from sunlight all day really tries me.  I am fighting the sniffles and went to bed early.  I raided the Halloween candy last night.  I did the stairmaster at the gym again 20 minutes.  Yay!  That is what I did upon hearing the news about sis, which is really hard.  Mom told Dad who blew up and she started to criticize him for not supporting and I said I'm going to the gym!

This too shall pass :)