What a mess
April 27, 2009 3:03pm
Ok, now I turned 50 yesterday and I've been dating an alcoholic. Those of you that knew me through my divorce, my ex was 50% better to me than …
janap 
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About Me
janap
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About Me
I am 47, no children, just doggies. I have been married for 17 years to my best friend (at one time! still trying!). My 84 year old father lives with my husband and I. I was unable to have children but mentor 3 children and my pets are my kids! I have a lot of philosophies about life but none for mine! My passion is my work with children. I am a not so perfect, christian but that keeps me going and really has made a difference in my life...thankfully God is forgiving!
I am 47, no children, just doggies. I have been married for 17 years to my best friend (at one time! still trying!). My 84 year old father lives with my husband and I. I was unable to have children but mentor 3 children and my pets are my kids! I have a lot of philosophies about life but none for mine! My passion is my work with children. I am a not so perfect, christian but that keeps me going and really has made a difference in my life...thankfully God is forgiving!
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Interests
Mentoring children, crafts, fishing, tutoring children, helping others, helping and working with animals - that's my child on my photo!
Mentoring children, crafts, fishing, tutoring children, helping others, helping and working with animals
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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i miss his mom too
November 20, 2008 11:54am
I actually miss my boyfriend's mother. I have been going through pictures in the 2 years I was in their lives and it brought back the love and …
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My boyfriend and his children and family
November 20, 2008 11:42am
I have been with my boyfriend for a year and a half. When we got together, we have not been able to see his children. His mother has custody. I was …
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The walls that bind me...
November 15, 2008 2:44pm
I am almost 50 years old and recently divorced and back in to another volitile relationship where I could be a positive impact on a person but I …
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Journal Entry for November 2, 2008
November 2, 2008 10:58am
Well today I am going to church. I just feel lost these days and I need to get my eyes back on God. I don't know what is wrong. I did get to meet …
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Hugbook
Hug
This too shall pass, I have pretty good support here and at work. Hugs.
Flower
thank you. I am in counseling.
Hug
For DAPA, just follow this link http://dailystrength.org/groups/de...
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Prayer
for your stress and finances.
Prayer
I am an alcoholic, my name is Ed. It will get better and it does take time, get to aa and or na meetings and do this daily, you will get releif i promise you that. But the worst thing you can do is give in to this terrible disease. Also try this www.recoverychat.com and you will get all the information you need to start feeling better. The most important thing in my sobriety is aa and the 12 steps without that, I would be dead, im sure of it, god bless you and good luck, eddie
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Physical & Emotional Abuse
Well, I am almost 47. This year I decided that things in my life are going to change. I have been married for 17 years to a man I feel is verbally abusive. We have grown terribly apart. We just don't have the same interest. I was unable to have children and have grieved over that for many, many years and although I accept it, my husband doesn't like how close I am to 2 of the children I mentor because of the grandmother. Lots going on in my life and just need someone to talk to...
Treatments
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I loved having a therapist but can't afford one at this time. It was great to be able to talk to someone.
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- without it I got suicidal
Close Endometriosis
I went through many treatments for pain from endometriosis. My experience with Lupron was in the 80's & 90's and may be different now. I was a flight attendent at the time and would cry uncontrollably if a passenger simply was not pleased with something. It was crazy. I would go on 2 hour crying sprees not knowing why. I was told to have a hysterectomy at 25, but wanted children so I didn't. I finally did at the age 35 and have never felt the same. I don't have children. Too late now.
Treatments
- Lupron Not Working
- I would not stay on the Lupron due to the uncontrollable crying. It was out of control.
- Surgery Not Working
- After my hysterectomy, still have pain. Surgery went for hours & Dr. said endometriosis was hard as a rock and could not get it all. It had spread to my belly & colon.
- Laparoscopic Surgery Not Working
- I had several Laparocopies for endometriosis, none helped my pain and I still could not have children.
Open Bereavement
Type: Loss of a FriendIt all started in 2002, my best friends daughter committed suicide, 6 months later my mother died, 1 month later my 2nd mom, my best friends mom died, 7 months later my best friend took her life 8 months later my dog (which are my only chidren) died.
Treatments
Open Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI've been depressed for years. 47 years old.
Treatments
- Effexor Not Working
- This made me feel funny.
- Elavil Working / Worked
- My Dr. has me on this for sleep only at night. It does help me to sleep.
- Lexapro Somewhat Helpful
- I did use this but was changed to cymbalta
- Prozac Not Working
- Was on this in early 90's
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- Have not been in this type of therapy for a long time but would really like to get back into it, just can't afford it right now.
- Cymbalta Working / Worked
- I didn't realize how much this worked until I tried to get off of it. It has made a huge difference in the way I feel.
Open Fitness Goals
Type: Improve overall fitnessI've struggled with my weight all of my life! My grandmother put me on my first diet when I was in 4th or 5th grade! Kids made fun of me when I was young. I lost all my baby weight in 9th grade, well I got braces and that helped too! Today I am 47 and I'm 30 lbs overweight. My family has the "double chin" thing...I can't stand to look in the mirror or a picture. Yet I won't get up and do anything about it when I KNOW, this would also help with my depression!
Open Child Support & Custody
I mentor 2 kids that I have found out have not been able to see their mother and daddy and their mother and daddy seem to love them very much. They both have had troubles in the past but are trying to make a new life. The grandmother will not let the parents see the children. I agree about some of the things and the why's but when I was these kids age, I lived with my grandparents, I turned out okay, but I sure hurt an awful lot when my granny would talk bad about my dad or mom. Any suggestions
Open Alcoholism
Addicted to Pain Meds. Just went through detox program 3 weeks ago. Trying to take one second at a time and need to vent sometimes! This is hard and I want to succeed, but how do you really do that?
Treatments
- Ativan Working / Worked
- Went through a detox and they knocked me out for a week with ativan.
- Detox Working / Worked
- So far so good! Easier than going off by myself... not as many physical side affects.
- Outpatient Treatment Program Working / Worked
- Start tonight in outpatient group and counselling.
Open Anger Management
I have no job and no insurance and recently stopped cymbalta cold turkey because i can't afford them. I have physically assulted my boyfriend twice in one week. i stopped the cymbalta 2 weeks tomorrow. I'm really scared. the anger that comes in side me is overwhelming. I even said to my boyfriend tonight that i just want to take his knife and cut his heart out. I meant it. I have NEVER IN MY LIFE EVEN THOUGHT THIS and truly never thought I would be one to threaten that. the anxiety just boils
Open Female Sexual Issues
It hurts when I have sex. Also now, if I have a orgasm, it hurts, like pelvic pain... has anyone experienced this and should I be concerned? My partner does not understand.
