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lilje 
10:09am
I haven't written in ages because I've been so depressed that it just didn't seem lilke it made any difference if I wrote it down or not. Back in July I spent some time in the hospital and that helped a little and then I completed an outpatient program but now I seem to be going backward again. The meds just aren't working. The thoughts of dying keep creeping into my mind on a daily basis and they are getting harder to avoid. I'm just so profoundly sad, there is no room for joy in my being. I just can't shake this awful depression. I have a husband and son who love and care for me but it just doesn't matter. I'm so tired and so down. Nothing makes it go away. I see my doctor when I'm suppose to and he tweaks the meds and I see my therapist every week and she does what she can but nothing seems to help. I just want to die and make all these bad feelings go away. I am so sad and in so much pain I just don't think that I can do it any more. It's too hard.
Comments
Please , please don't give up. it sounds like you have a wonderful family who loves and cares for you. I wish there was something I could say or do to make you snap out of the way you are feeling. if just wanna talk some time I can give you my phone number. nothing in life comes easy, I can all most bet that your son would say something like this that you are strong willed woman, and if any one shake this it would be you.. maybe you are on too many meds? sometimes we think we need them but we really don't need them, or the dosage needs to changed. how I wish I could help you. heres all the love that you need and as many hugs as you need please keep in touch, I do care.
kimmy2