Journal Entry for April 3, 2009
April 3, 2009 4:30am
sbr03 
12:42pm, April 10, 2009
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About Me
sbr03
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About Me
I joined DS about a year ago, so I think it's time to update my profile.I started using drugs/drinking at the ripe old age of 14.I found my new best friend....only my best friend turned on me and became my worst nightmare.....jails, institutions, @#$%!!!! I got sober on November 2nd, 2003, eighteen years later. Since being sober I have learned alot about life.Sobriety has been great and also extremely challenging for me.It's like growing up for the first time in my life.I still struggle a bit with depression, but it seems to be getting better.I have trouble with friendships still which is troubling to me.Just how do I let people in?I can feel alone in a roomful of people.I believe I am on the right path, and with the help of God, I will slowly become the person I was meant to be;as long as I stay sober I have a chance.If I go back to that life I am a dead man for sure.
I joined DS about a year ago, so I think it's time to update my profile.I started using drugs/drinking at the ripe old age of 14.I found my new best friend....only my best friend turned on me and became my worst nightmare.....jails, institutions, @#$%!!!! I got sober on November 2nd, 2003, eighteen years later. Since being sober I have learned alot about life.Sobriety has been great and also extremely challenging for me.It's like growing up for the first time in my life.I still struggle a bit with
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Interests
I love playing guitar and drawing.I am involved in AA and go to meetings pretty regularly.I like to help people who are newly sober, it makes me feel like I am worth something, like it is a small way to pay my debt back to society
I love playing guitar and drawing.I am involved in AA and go to meetings pretty regularly.I like to help
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Journal
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Broken hearted
March 26, 2009 9:45am
I feel so broken hearted today.........so sad and lonely.I was told yesterday that Teresa is going out of town with another man with …
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Dude!Where's my patch?
March 18, 2009 1:54am
Tonight,I really wanted a cigarette.I realized that after my shower today,I forgot to put a nic. patch on,so I was freaking out.I …
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4th step again
March 18, 2009 1:47am
As much as I respect my sponsor's advice and value his direction in my sobriety,I am going against what he has said about doing …
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Hugbook
High Five
hope yur doing well friend, and life is golden and going gret for ya, how has the summer been for ya,, catch any fish, been to any concerts lately, welp hopes this finds you well,
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Hug
well greetings friend, hope you have a gret fourth of july, life is well, work is busy, not sure if there is gonna be a lock out or not, been working on my first step story with my sponsor, and making a list of fears, staying busy with yard work and family, and also enjoying the rain, whats new with u, these days..
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Hug
whats new buddy have not herd from thee, in a while, hope u and yur family had a goot holiday, rain alot here, had to work for awhile on memorial day, keep the faith mny best from colorado.
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Hug
what new buddy, how are the kids,,reading any good spiritual verse's?? well i missed my meeting last thursday, i fell i sleep on the couch, but it was relaxing,, it has been pretty windy, here,, took my bike to bike shop recently,, now i can actually save money and ride my bike to work,, saw the new star trek moviee,, and been busy with yard work hope yur doing well.
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Prayer
well the meds a keeping my anger astray,i am going to be attending my meeting tonite, have been on for a while, trying to keep on the glory path, coloraodo is gret awfully windy here, life is gret all my best friend. and many more.
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Photos
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Goals
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Support Groups
Close Cocaine Addiction & Recovery
I was addicted to crack for 11 years.I am sober for 5years now,but I struggle intensely at times,not with wanting to use(thank God),but with life,relationships,etc...
Treatments
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- AA has helped to fill the void that was left in me when I quit doing crack
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I find that prayer helps to get me through the difficult times
Close Depression
I am in recovery now after an 11 year battle with cocaine.I have been sober for 5 years and life is so much better than it was,but I still have a very difficult time making friends.I feel lonely often even though I have a lot of people in my life that I can befriend.I feel like I'm on the outside looking in while the rest of the world is going on without me.Terrible depression at times for no apparent reason.I want to try to learn better how to handle depression and overcome so I can enjoy life
Treatments
- Meditation Somewhat Helpful
- I try to get quiet each morning before I start my day
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Instead of focusing on negativity or fear I try to practice gratitude for the good in my life
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- I have a huge community of people in AA but it is very hard for me to get close to people
- Writing Somewhat Helpful
- This I am not very consistent with.Sometimes I can't even put words to what I'm feeling but when I do journal,it seems to help
Open Alcoholism
I started drinking at age 14,took my last drink(hopefully)on November 2nd,2003.Sobriety has been a ride,that's for sure.
Treatments
- 12 Step Program Working / Worked
- AA Meetings Working / Worked
- I find support and encouragement at AA meetings.I truly believe I wouldn't stay sober without them
- Willpower Working / Worked
- I have choices every day
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I find the strength I need to keep going on by seeking a Higher Power
Open Breakups & Divorce
Still early.I just broke it off with my girlfriend of 2 1/2 years.She is a good woman and trustworthy,but at times very cold and rigid.I want intimacy and spontaneity in a relationship and it was lacking severely in ours.It hurts,but I cannot go on feeling lonely with her.
Treatments
- Forgiveness Working / Worked
- Accepting another person with all their faults,not trying to change them to fit my standards
- Leave Somewhat Helpful
- Time away can be helpful,although I don't believe it is always the answer to problems.Talking about problems,facing them head on,I believe is the answer most of the time as uncomfortable as it can be at times.
- Love Working / Worked
- I am learning to love myself and find myself not accepting 'less than' for me.I don't have to be in an unhappy relationship.For both parties involved,love has helped me move on.
- Psychotherapy Considering
- What do I have to lose?
- Reading Working / Worked
- I have read many books on that mysterious force called love and feel I have a better understanding
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- Thank God for people!
- Talking Working / Worked
- It helps to talk with my friends about the struggles I am having
- Time Somewhat Helpful
- Allowing myself and significant other time to "figure things out" has been helpful on occassion
Open Healthy Relationships
I am seeking to have more healthy relationships,to let my guard down and be more open to giving and receiving love,all of which I have had difficulty with most of my life.
Treatments
- Couples Counseling Considering
- I am trying to get this ball rolling,but can't get these people to call back and set something up.I will update as it progresses.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Most of the time open honest communication helps.I need to express myself,but it is more important that I become a better listener.I am working on that.It is not always so important that I speak my mind.What about her?
- Writing Working / Worked
- It is sometimes easier to put my feelings on paper than to express them face to face with another person.A good release for me.Helps to get things in perspective.
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Groups
