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Danigirl35 
10:38am, July 2, 2009
What can I say? I am at my lowest of ever and It is another 21 days until I can see a good pdoc thru my medicare. I have seen this doctor so I am praying for the day I go in and see her. I have once again let my looks go. I have let my house be a mess. I just want to sleep and breathe to be alive for my family. I don't want to go anywhere. My mom told me to stop feeling sorry for myself. I told her last week, as if she would get it that you can't control your thoughts with BPD. When you feel like dying it's not like you get up in the morning and think "hey today I'll kill myself". Lynn I know you know what I mean. The thoughts just pop up in your head. I SHOULD be in a hospital, they will just put me there make me better for a week and I go home with a screwed up insurance plan that mess with the meds I'm supposed to take. =(
Comments
Try and hang in there sweetie...it's the only way!!!! And yes, I do understand! So so well! If there is anything i can do, I will...please let me know. Love you!
bpchick2007