Journal

 hey everyone!

 I have been out vacationing with the boys last week; they were on break.  We didn't do anything major.  We hung out at home for a couple of days, went to the planetarium, and then drove down to the beach for the weekend.  We had an overall great time!  I did have to fish my "knee" baby out of the ocean but he's OKAY!  The oldest spent the majority of the time on the pier with his dad "fishing".  Their dad did catch a shark...........I held the shark!  The baby just was EVERYWHERE - right!

Hey!

Just letting everyone know that I'm still kicking and around.  My eczema is still flaring every now and then but not as bad.  It has now pogressed to my ring fingers............ the dermatologist put me on Cordran tape twice a day and stated that the new sites also tested positive for staph. I'm really trippin' now.  She also gave me Mupricin ointment for the staph and an allergy test for like about 54 things and I'm allergic to nickel.   I think the new sites maybe more nickel oriented but that does not explain my fingers because the sites are at the top of my fingers not the bottom where rings go.   Oh well................

 I don't know what I to do with my life anymore.  All I know is that I want to do something different but reliable and steady.  I love my boys and their dad, but I don't know who I am anymore other than their mother and his mate.   This was not me 8/9 years ago; it's as if  I have truly lost myself and I don't know how to find my way back to me. 

Sometimes I want to just up and leave adI know that is an awfulway to feel but it's true.  I am tired of eing the responsible one all the time -  the reliable one.  I want do something just for me again without worrying about hoe it will affect others.  I know it's selfish but DAMN..................  

I'm out