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WhiteNoise 
1:29am, March 31, 2009
I feel used and like I'm a pushover. I am sick of feeling like I try hard to be nice to my friends and do things for them, and when I ask for a favour I get fuck all in return. And i'm not just feeling sorry for myself here, I really honestly do a lot of favours and things for my friends. Probably because I have a desire to be accepted and like by EVERYONE. Even people that treat me badly.
My friend asked me to do a photo shoot of her and her boyfriend and their two dogs, like a family portrait. I said "yes" of course and it was assumed that i'd go to her house to do it.
Then this morning when I ask if I can get a lift with her to a birthday event coming up, two other people are already getting lifts, and so my brother and I will have to drive there ourselves. It bothers me because I have given her and her boyfriend SO many lifts in the past, I can't even count how many times I've picked them up and given them lifts etc.. and they didn't even think to offer me a lift first.
So now I'm thinking why the f**k would I drive over to her house, with all my equipment, do a professional standard photo (which I can do) which they would have to pay at least $200 for someone else to do, for what??? probably nothing. They could have offered to at least come to my house.
And I can't forget the birthday present she gave me on my last birthday. Two Clinique make-up products, and guess what was written on the back of them: "Sample product, not for sale." She didn't even buy them for me!! They were a free gift she got with something else she bought for herself. And the last two birthday presents I got for her cost around $40 each. What sort of a selfish cheapskate is this girl?
Now I'm think I don't even want to go to her boyfriend birthday event. It'll cost me around $30 in petrol to get there and back, and another $45 to get into the place where the party is. Why should i spend $70 on this guy's birthday? And BTW I don't even like the guy. He's a prick.
I really need some new friends.
Comments
I can relate. I think because we are a certain way, we forget others aren't necessarily the same (I am realizing this today).
I like who I am, and this helps. It is good to open our eyes and look at painful truths, and to act accordingly. "No" is a complete sentence, and if someone doesn't like it, they're not really your friend :)
I like using the "let me think about it" took instead of "yes" when unsure, to let yourself have some time to figure out what's best.
You're doing great!
Loved1
hope you find some new friends soon , when you start to feel a bit more confident , i dont think you will have anything to do with these people anymore,
Voluntary jobs sometimes bring up nicer sort of people, these friends you have sound selfish but we need to learn how to have healthy friendships and it takes time so dont beat yourself up if you make few mistakes along the way, i found healthy friendships start off slowly and are not overpowering like some of the crazy friends i had!!{i ve had a few} , but they are more solid and equal once established,
there are books and info on the net about making friends it may be worth checking some out so you avooid the same mistake and end up getting used again. love Alice{your new internet friend}
Alice79
Thanks so much Suzy, i like how you said "no is a complete sentence" so true. It can be hard to say no but gotta do what's best for you.
Hi Alice - my new internet friend - yay!! Thanks so much for your advice - i have never thought about volunteer work but it sounds like a great idea i think i'll look into it.
WhiteNoise