WnaBaSXEMAagn's Journal

After all hte waiting and debating about wether or not to tell my family, My path has been cleared. Now is the time. I've been given the sign. How you say? I just found out my auntie, whom I have'nt talked to in years, is Bi!!! OMG, I'm so happy!! After years of feeling alone, finally I have some1 who understands me, from a bi perspective. It's funny cuz I always knew she was a little eccentric, but I didn't really think that was anywhere near it. A shock to my system, but a necessary, and welcome one.

It felt so good talking to her after years of being kept from her. I'm convinced that my mom kept my Auntie away from us b-cuz sh felt she'd be a "bad influence" with her openness, I guess. Which then in turn explains the way my mom acted when I came out the 1st time. I think when I was younger, my auntie, who was close to my mom, her step-sister in fact, came out to my mom. I'm pretty certain that around the same time my mom "cut her off." Seeing how she reacted when I came out, it makes sense. My mom, who experimented with her sexuality in younger years, is ashamed of herself and therefore ashamed of me. Even her sister for that matter. Not because of what I've "become" but for the fact that she was once "that way" and fears her life being mine.I understand she saw some bad things happen to my auntie, and even herself, but it feels like she's equating my bisexuality with everything that went wrong in her and my auntie's life. It's sad to think she doesn't see that I'm not her, and am my own person. What works for one person may not work for another, right? I feel that very deeply. 

My bisexuality has brought me nothing but happiness. Even with the bad times, I was never afraid to be who I was until she planted the seeds of doubt in my head. She made me feel that who I was, wasn't good enough for her, nor the world. Talking with my auntie has strengthened me to come out of hiding. I know I am bi. I've always known, even before I knew it had a name. I think now is the time the rest of the family knew the truth. I truly for the first time feel I am ready to let that be known. I'm ready to be me, regrdless of whoever can accept it or not. I finally accept myself. What can be more beautiful than that?