sfilly22's Journal

well as the title says i need to focus more or focua on the correct things here. i havent wroten many journals in the past which is fine but i needed to cuz it does help me and the fact tht my last journal was pretty much a too be continued i dunno i never got to continue tht one.  well i am pretty much always on the computer nd i pretty much always stop on this site to check things out however i dont really have time or the focus to write anything.this is because i am doin number of other things most of which r pointless nd jus time consuming.

the first thing i do is something i am doin right now i am playin poker, not for money or anything like tht but i enjoy playin nd i am on pokerstars. i usually have two or more tournaments up i at least have one this is only for play money which i need more of so i guess its kinda harmelss. nd my 2nd tourny jus popped up so i now have two games going.

2 the next thing i do is i dunno if its good or not but i am always on here either lookin for new girls to talk to or date jus for the simple fact tht i feel tht i am happier in a relationship so i spend alotta my time do tht. i am on like 4 or 5 dating sites so its keeps me busy i have met a few of these girls nd most of them didnt work out and they didnt really like me, or they werent in the best shape or werent the prettiest. but i stayed friends with most of them. i also talk to most of them thru AIM so i guess thas preetty much the same thing. but i dunno.

3. the 3rd thing is very good thng to do for me but its been takin up alot of my time with no results yet. i am lookin or doin anythin to find a full itme job/career or somethin cuz im hurtin on money my four jobs dont give me enough hours or pay so i need something full time. so i am either online lookin at career builder or another website once again i look on several places. i also have a employement specialist tryin to find me work. my friend who volunteered coachin bball at her school last year got me a book tht will help me figure out wat i wanna do nd how to get wat i want or get the job. its called What Color Is Your Parachute. i have read several chapters nd it seems like it should help so tht takes up my time too.

along with tryin to get my house in order nd still goin to the gym nd gettin back in shape i have remained pretty buys it stinks i jus wish there would be more hours in the day to get alll this done.

o yea i forgot about all of my jobs too well all 4 part time jobs are back in order again or have atarted up again. so this means i work every day of the week sometimes or pretty much every week. i dunno its not many hours but its mainly night or the weekend so its harder for me to have a life or go on dates with any of these ladies i talk to. I work mon, tue, wed 7-10 so those nights are out for them nd it sucks cuz most of the girls i have talked to r usually  either teachers or have day jobs until 5 or somethin which means no early dinner or somethin like tht. thursdays nd fridays i work 5 til whenever another down thing is tht i cant find anyone close to me another problem. two of the girls i liked are too far one was from nj which was bout a half hour drive but she went back to school which is 2 hours away.

well now tht this makes no sense nd i have to go nd i have no clue how to save without postin so i can go back nd try to make this easier to read, but God bless everyone as promised i will write more about my weird deja-vu later thanks for listenin tho any help or advise would be helpful thanx