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hope20z 
3:33pm, October 11, 2009
Tomorrow is my birthday. I have been taking care of my mom since she returned home from the hospital. It has been taxing on me but at least she is getting better. I have been able to use her new Audi while she is unable to drive. Tomorrow I am going to spend the day with Dad, Chi and Ti. I know that we are going to dinner together and I am trying to pick a good place. I told my mom that I want to spend the entire day with them so maybe we can go to the movies. There is the move directed by the same director of Donnie Darko, one of my favorite movies. But, this one is about pressing a button and getting 1 million dollars and someone will die. Is seems like a great action thriller.
I started to cut myself again. On my left arm, I am trying to hide it I hope no one notices. I get these real jolts of motivation for suicide to just take a ton of pills and just fall asleep. But, I don't know if I would go through with it or not... that is why I am afraid of the thoughts. I hate to go to sleep because I have dreams that I don't want to have. They're about old friends that I am not speaking to anymore... or just plain weird dreams.
I have go to go. talk to you soon.
Comments
U r killing me. I haven't cut n 6wks but it takes 1 day @ a x. I am proud of u b/c my left arm is my place 2 cut. I hope school is going well. Sometimes even a drive n an Audi isn't worth it. After all my parents paid cash 4 their new Mercedes 2 seater convertible, Lexus (grand heated seats), & my own BMW 2seater convertible. My husband prefers his motorcycle. Best Wishes!
GildedButterfly