hope20z's Journal

It's been snowing for a couple of days now. It has gotten so bad that my college has closed the campus to the students, so we are not driving in the mess that is out there. This pushes my exam forward one day so I wont be taking it until next Thursday. I am waiting this afternoon with my mom, because I am taking her into surgery at 1:30. She seems confident, it is a knee surgery and they are keeping her for a couple of days. So I get to stay at the house for a couple of days without her here. I am so tired of bipolar. I have no money, I have lost great relationships with loved ones. I am sick of the suicidal thoughts and the beliefs that I have to end my life if things get hard. I don't think that people will miss me but I take it from others that my life could be greatly missed. I have lost so much life in the last handful of years then I have broken friendships and lost some loved people. I miss my friends, now all that I have is my family and I still feel like I severed my relationships with them too, but I know they are always with me. I also find it reassuring that the people on here, dailystrength, are going through the same things I am, it is nice to know that people do go through the same things and they are here to help and to be helped. So please if you know how to help please give me your advice, every little bit helps.