Today was kind of a bad day. Woke …
Today was kind of a bad day. Woke up in the early afternoon and took a nap at 8 pm. My sleep schedual is all off. I …
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kittykasrawk 
1:43am, November 3, 2008
I am completely disgusted with myself.
I had a job interview---the first I was able to get in 6 mo. of being unemployed, and it's only for a temp position.
I've basically been an unemployed recluse for 6 mo. I don't even want to be around people and spend many days in bed.
So, I go to this interview and have an anxiety attack in the car beforehand. I ws so nervous and scared during the whole thing. Part of me honestly hopes they won't even call me back b/c I don't know if I can even handle working right now. I'm so scared----scared of everything----I just want to curl up and hide and let the world pass me by. I'm okay with that---why can't everyone else be and just leave me alone?!
I've no insurance, so therapy is not an option for me. I've tried lots of different meds in the past, but nothing helps.
I'm so sad, and I'm sick of feeling this way. I'm tired of the anxiety----it's like at that interview-----I get so stuck in the anxiety and chitter-chatter in my head that I can't concentrate on what I'm being asked or told. I'm constantly worried I'm doing something wrong, making a mistake, or not responding appropriately in conversation.
I'm just sick of this.....sick, sick, sick of it.
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i just want you to know that you are not alone. I feel the same worries about mistakes and conversations. I also didn't have a job last summer and was in a horrible depression. Like you I applied for all types of jobs and no responses. I have a bacholers degree and was willing to take any job I could get. I was two weeks away from being evicted when I finally had an interview and got a job as a front desk clerk at a doctors office. It's such a low paying job that I still barely make enough to pay my bills and am maxed out in my credit cards. I am grateful to have a job, but wish I could earn enough money to get by. The economy is so frustrating right now for everyone, but try to keep your head up for a couple hours a day while you job search. After 2 hours of job searching you can go back to being upset and frustrated, but don't give up searching and stay persistent. Try different websites and don't be afraid to make phone calls, or drop by places to speak to the managers. I wish you the best of luck.
lessjess
i just want you to know that you are not alone. I feel the same worries about mistakes and conversations. I also didn't have a job last summer and was in a horrible depression. Like you I applied for all types of jobs and no responses. I have a bacholers degree and was willing to take any job I could get. I was two weeks away from being evicted when I finally had an interview and got a job as a front desk clerk at a doctors office. It's such a low paying job that I still barely make enough to pay my bills and am maxed out in my credit cards. I am grateful to have a job, but wish I could earn enough money to get by. The economy is so frustrating right now for everyone, but try to keep your head up for a couple hours a day while you job search. After 2 hours of job searching you can go back to being upset and frustrated, but don't give up searching and stay persistent. Try different websites and don't be afraid to make phone calls, or drop by places to speak to the managers. I wish you the best of luck.
lessjess
I actually got on here because I am having the same issue. I feel like I can't ever get a job either. I used to be confident within myself, but when anxiety got the better of me, I felt like all I could pay attention to was in my head and everyone else was like that teacher in charlie brown.. then one day after lots of trials on meds and going to the therapist i had seen as a teenager, I got better with anxiety and feel like I am back on planet earth again. However, now I have insomnia which I think is what is left of my anxiety manifested. Now I am scared I won't do a good job because I sleep lousy.. its all one vicious circle. But I am going to start counseling again. Try and find someone in your area that does pay arrangments or something.. talking about stuff just helps. i just moved to a new place and I thought a job would be no problem to find here.. but you are right. the economy is shit at the moment. so i am doing the only other thing i can do and apply for unemployment until someone hires me. Try looking up holistic practitioners in your area. They seem to actually care about the person they treat, and understand money problems.. good luck
jeniswithoutsanity
I also know what its like to suffer from anxiety..and had panic attacks for years...Also I know how the more reclusive you are, the more you get entrenched in it..
Cognitive therapy was a huge help to me..Could you chack out sliding scale or free therapy services?..I live in Ireland..But I know they are available everywhere if you just check it out?..
Also starting with a simple job..Like cleaning..minding someones home, or helping others..can be a great back to work kick start?..It doesn't have to be something very socially exposing or active?..
Its true though, that the more we push ourselves out of our comfort zone, and the more we push past our fears, the more they diminish, and recede?..
One step at a time..If you could tackle what you avoid?..When you do something you fear..You grow in self esteem and self respect?..Cognitive therapy is great for learning that...
Please keep trying..I am sure you have a lot to give the world...Hugs!
vonniedisley