sfk1970's Journal

I don't know what to do anymore.  It started the other day when she told me that If I wanted to get married she wanted her ring by christmas. Not in those exact words though.  Then this morning I overslept, her son peed on our couch in his sleep, and I was just in a deep state of depression, and still am. I got her home from work and she started in on me about housework. She knew I needed to go unload my work van today, and yet she tells me that her son is not to be taken from the house. So, I have to wait till she gets home at 9 pm to go unload the van and load it for work tomorrow. She told me our relationship is over AGAIN!!!  She told me the other day if she doesnt get a ring for christmas she knows that my mind is made up to stay here while she moves to California.  I sent a text to my best friend and my sister telling them that I hate my life...my sister hasnt answered...and my best friend said" I care, but what can I do about it." I am almost 40, this isnt cool at all.  I cant lose myself now, but I feel like I am.  I feel like crawling in a whole and hiding. I feel like closing out the world. I feel like I'd be happier where my older sister is at.  But these are just thoughts of someone who was once happily married and went down the wrong path in life and now is horribly lost.