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D48987T 
My mood is as up and down as ever it was... and it's crashed down a little since a few minutes ago...I am not a bad person, I don't think...I'm nice...I can be funny...But I don't think I'll ever find love...Guys don't look past the exterior...I am overweight...I'm overly shy....I think I am a binge eater and on a fast track towards irreversable health problems in my adult future...I feel so alone on days. One minute, I am laughing, having fun with family and friends, but the next minute I am quiet. I become so lonely, with loved ones 5 feet away from me, who I am sometimes afraid to talk about feelings with because I feel like I am judged everywhere I go...In restaraunts, at the store, walking across the living room or into church, I feel like everybody stares at me...And when I want to write poetry or songs, I can't find any words and it annoys the hell out of me some days...Some days...My mind is blank, and it's killing me...I scare myself because sometimes I don't feel anything at all...I just observe what should be a happy or tear-bringing moment with chilling impassivity. I want to help people...I want to be helped, too, when it's all too much. That's why I joined this site...To help, both ways... I'm sorry...
Sometimes my entries will be disturbing, sometimes insane...I am not bipolar...I just ride whatever wave hits me first...
Comments
you sound so much like me hun and i know its hard but just stick at it. im not gona say it gets easier coz thats not what happened wth me but maybe after a few knocks we will become stronger and wiser and know what we are actually thinking. good luck hun all the best xx
daddyslittlegirl90