Slowmoving's Journal

My mood is more upbeat than is has been in over 3 years. Has the pain changed-not much, but life has. If anyone has noticed I often refer to mom #1  and mom #2. I was adopted when I was little, never feeling as though I belonged. My adopted dad, oh he tried- I was a daddy's girl. But since my adopted mom has a personality disorder (diagonosed about 10 ago when my brother got his 2nd divorce and the court ordered him, his ex, and my mom to have psychiatric evaluations to see who would get custody of 3 little boys. That's when it came out). We all knew something was wrong with her forever. But anyway, back to the story. I found my birth mother in July and it has been the biggest blessing in my life. She has welcomed me with open arms. She had never stopped grieving for her loss. I have started to heal emotionally, as the walls have started to crumble around my heart. The strange thing is my mom #1 is saying the same thing. She never married, because she felt like she couldn't let herself love again. So we are both learning to open up. At this point, we write and call. I can't wait until we can meet in person. She lives 21 hours away. Much too far for me to drive, and i can't afford to fly right now. She knows where my dad is, but he has chosen not to get involved. I have at least 2 1/2 sisters out there some where. They don't know about me. I think if they knew, they might be willing to at least give me some medical info, which he won't even do.  I find that quite rude, as I have told the mediator I will not contact him in any fashion if he will just fill out the medical form. Still the answer was no. S.O.B.!  Twists and turns in Life. I prayed for many years to find her, but GOD has his own time table. HE knew when I would need her the most.  So for Mom, today I am feeling HAPPY.