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Slowmoving 
7:26am, April 27, 2009
I 've never kept a journal, but I probably should have over the last 3 years. It may have helped and then again maybe not. I've slept all night for the last 2 nights-that's a record for me. A month ago I would have bet my last dollar that it would never happen. But then I spent the next 3 weeks in hell coming off methadone. It was either that or I was ready to die. I knew that I couldn't live like that anymore. My husband and I are supposed to be in the prime of our lives-our youngest son is away at college. We had such plans for what we were going to be doing at this point. It's been a year since we even gone out to dinner at a restaurant......I've got to stop. This sounds too much like a pity party and I'm the only one invited.
Comments
It's not a real pity party; you were just starting to tell about yourself. It really helps to write these journals. Some people write everyday and others just write when then have something substantial to say. Either was, putting your words here is a great step in allowing others to see you as you are and maybe thru thier experiences can offer something that might help.
The worst that can happen is that you make friends with someone you can share stories. For me it was profound. I thought I was the only one who felt the way I did. I knew others had problems like mine but I'd never talked with or knew of people who could say things and I'd say, "That's exactly the way I feel". It made me feel connected with someone for the first time since I started having chronic pain.
Think about it. Please try to open up just as you did today. And by the way, you did a great job.
There are many, many, good people here at Daily Strength who care and want to help. In doing so, you'll be helping them.
Please accept this offer to listen to you and give you open, honest feedback, if you'll do the same for me.
Whatdasay?
Friends?
david
andrews
Hi i just wanted to say welcome to daily strength.Your journal to me is just what you want to be doing.I am sure it helps,it has definitely helped me.I pretty much thought i was all alone with this pain and not much explanation.I still dont have many answers so i am trying to come to terms with it all.So i think what i am trying to say is if you ever need anyone to talk to or message to say hi please do.If you want to add as a friend please do.
Take care,
Lou x x x
lou22
Thanks for the support. Being raised in the south, you learned real early that you didn't air "your dirty laundry". My #2 mom still is saying that I need to quit taking my anti-depressants; which I've been on for 30 years. Last week she had the nerve to say when are you just going to learn to live with it. I shouldn't be taking any pain medication either. I found #1 Mom in July, so I really shouldn't be surprised at the attacks on me. Jealousy rears its ugly head when it has no need. But for the first time in my life, I have a mom who has called me precious and special! This really doesn't have anything to do with my chronic pain - just a little bit about me that has helped me through the last several months.
Slowmoving
The new medicine that the pain clinic has put me on is helping. Valium 3X a day plus a fentnyl patch. I also take soma if my back is going into spasms. I have gone out of the house twice in the last week. YEAH! Thank you for everyone out there that has been listening to me and responding - you're right, it does help just to know that I'm not alone on this journey.
Slowmoving
Life never stops, suddenly, there are always new horizons, new steps to take, old loves to appreciate, books to re-read, issues to resolve, kisses to make up for , letters, e-mails, travel dreams, family;PAIN may appear to stand in our way, but it also pushes us to keep moving.Medecines are our timebombs, we all admit that, but what else can be on offer, I find high doses of methadone the easiest to use day to day, but one has to try others. I'm waiting for my specialist to get me Transdermal FentanylPatches to reduce my overuse issues, valium can save you from the bounce off of methadone, which is toxic and doesn't suit everyone. Be careful on the Valium The high can come to low and anger issues may arrise, I think this is due to frustration. Keep your strength and have some time-out doing well anything, hang-gliding camping, opera?
JC-morphed
MORPHED