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fallfromgrace 
9:27pm, October 21, 2009
What is the point in life?
U get up every morning, work hard, struggle, go to bed, all just to get up and do the same thing the next morning?
What's the point in that?
u work hard, only to find u are right back at the starting line........
There are a million times more horrible evil people in this world than there are good people, people capable of unspeakable things, and most of them go free, free to commit more horrid unspeakable things.....
U work hard try to make money, but its never enough, there's never enough money.... U never feel like u are not struggling, I think the statistic is that 92% of US citizens live paycheck to paycheck.. The rich get richer, the poor get poorer, and thanks to things like the Enron Incident, and the greediness of banks and mortgage companies, our economy is in the shitter, and they get away with it and get bailed out, but what about people like me?
I cant sell my house, I would lose money, and I cant refinance because of my debt. But because of predatory lending, my own bad judgment, and the fall of the economy leading to my husband having to find another job because he had a $50,000 reduction in salary from one year to the next and because I am in law school trying to make it so I have more of an earning potential in the future, I ended up in a mortgage I cant afford, yet like I said I cant sell my house, Id be totally willing to move into a smaller house, but I cant.
U have dreams, they get crushed, u are told u can do anything u put ur mind to, but that's a load of crap.
U think, when u get married that its all going to be great, then he cheats on u and ur world comes crashing down.
U want to start a family but there are just so many issues that u dont know if u will ever be stable enough to do so. And if there's anything that makes life worth living, its family, so if u cant have that, why work so hard?
If it sounds like I am whining, its because I am..... I just dont get what its all for..... the daily struggle of life. Everytime something bad happens, people say "well thats life" so then what is the point of everything?
Comments
I can see everything exactly as you write- I think the point is finding happiness where you can. I know it isn't easy, I am having a hard time finding it myself at this time as well. Hang in there!
lmacdaddy
Fall..,
I can really see your points! Terrible time to come of age or be in college! My education cost 1/10 of yours, I am sure!
Yet, in my own way, I am in another stage of life that I would have imagined so differently, porch swing or chairs, holding hands, growing old together?
Life is indeed full of disappointment. Stay strong and continue to use your sound rational thinking skills! Not the time to add a baby...sounds correct!
My advice would be to finish school and reevaluate EVERYTHING at that juncture! Good Luck!
Nave
I am not sure why I am so impatient.... I will be 28 in December, and even though I am a few years older than the other people in law school, I am not that much older, so its not that I dont see I still have my whole life ahead of me,
I think I am just trying to fix my own disappointment within myself that I strayed off the path I was on in life, and while I am back on it, i am several years behind and am just really ashamed that I could not live up to my own expectations.
I began doing drugs for more than just experimental purposes when I was like 18, I also drank, by 21 i had "hit bottom" and have been clean/sober since then. I dont know its weird, i live in 2 worlds, in the "recovery" world - I am a hero, an "anti-statistic" I call myself (because statistically I should be dead or in jail, or something worse); but in the "real world" I am just someone who screwed her life up, and is now years behind everyone else..... Sometimes I feel pride, sometimes I feel shame.... Sometimes I am like "wow, I have been through more than some people go thru in their entire lives, and have worked so hard for all I have today" and other times I am like "whoopdee Doo! It takes me so much more effort to do what other people are able to do naturally" ..... All that thrown in with my identity issues from being adopted and that where I am right now, in a phase I guess where I am trying still to figure out who I am and who I want to be......
Thanks for ur insight :)
fallfromgrace