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JerryJsMom 
5:09pm, October 13, 2009
No, it doesn't get easier with time.
The sun continues to rise,
to shine warmly on those who walk
this earth, living the life of
innocence.
Unaware of the formidable pain that is just
a breath away from any of them.
They don't understand what if feels
like to be empty inside,
to lack depth,
to be a shell of the person they once were.
And, mercifully they will forever live
the life of the unaware.
In my world you look to the sky
and see the sun shining brightly above,
but sadly the warmth doesn't reach you.
In it's place is
a dark, cold cloud that is now
your constant companion.
It chills your bones,
it fills your heart,
it numbs your soul.
What you once believed in no longer exists.
Your plans for tomorrow,
forever wiped away.
Your future forever changed.
The memories that once brought smiles to your lips
now tear through your heart.
You want to hang on to your memories,
but at times you want to escape from them, too.
Memories are reminders of what once was
and a reminder of what will never again be.
Today. Well, today just is.
It's here to endure.
Some days you have to reach so far down into
the depths of your being just to continue on.
Some days you know it would just be easier
to say good bye.
To end the pain.
To drift into a blissful sleep never to open
your eyes again.
Because in sleep you have the gift of
of peace.
Your mind shuts down.
No thoughts.
No pain.
For a while.
For a precious little while.
But, dawn always follows the night.
You wake.
You remember.
The pain returns.
Another day
to endure.
And, so it goes.
And, so it is.
My world.
My life.
Without my son.
The sun continues to rise,
to shine warmly on those who walk
this earth, living the life of
innocence.
Unaware of the formidable pain that is just
a breath away from any of them.
They don't understand what if feels
like to be empty inside,
to lack depth,
to be a shell of the person they once were.
And, mercifully they will forever live
the life of the unaware.
In my world you look to the sky
and see the sun shining brightly above,
but sadly the warmth doesn't reach you.
In it's place is
a dark, cold cloud that is now
your constant companion.
It chills your bones,
it fills your heart,
it numbs your soul.
What you once believed in no longer exists.
Your plans for tomorrow,
forever wiped away.
Your future forever changed.
The memories that once brought smiles to your lips
now tear through your heart.
You want to hang on to your memories,
but at times you want to escape from them, too.
Memories are reminders of what once was
and a reminder of what will never again be.
Today. Well, today just is.
It's here to endure.
Some days you have to reach so far down into
the depths of your being just to continue on.
Some days you know it would just be easier
to say good bye.
To end the pain.
To drift into a blissful sleep never to open
your eyes again.
Because in sleep you have the gift of
of peace.
Your mind shuts down.
No thoughts.
No pain.
For a while.
For a precious little while.
But, dawn always follows the night.
You wake.
You remember.
The pain returns.
Another day
to endure.
And, so it goes.
And, so it is.
My world.
My life.
Without my son.
Comments
okay you said it all. hugs.
mari3333
WOW - You wrote my story, my thoughts, my feelings. We belong to a club that we never intended to join and would gladly give up the membership to. Hugs to you.
KimHT
This sums up my life perfectly.
ColleenF
TRUE all of it! Love, Lucille
joeymom
This is so well written and sums up what we all seem to feel. As you say, "mercifully [other parents] will live the life of the unaware," but for those of us who didn't escape this pain, it is comforting to know that there are others who truly understand. Thank you for sharing your heart with us. Charlotte.
FJsMum
How true it is - thank you for sharing - Josephine
moira01
I feel you looking into my soul, this is my life.Love, Mimi
yellowrose331
Adrienne,
Did you write this? This is lovely. Hugs, Inga
ihart
Beautiful, God bless.
rusty1
BEAUTIFUL....Well said...I love it...
annsullivan
the words are true. I know what you write is what everyone else feels. Thank you for putting our thoughts and our emotions into words. Take care
roknauntt
Wow! I've never heard it said any truer. Love you friend. Robin
Robin4
Well said. Beautiful heatbreakingly true. Love and hugs Cathy
RockstarsMom
This poem moved me to tears, and that is good. Tears wash away a lot of my less desirable emotions. Thank-you for finding a way to express feelings I have, and just cannot write down.
ironrattler
This is wonderful...the whole truth and so accurately described. thanks for sharing. Did you write it?
AnnM
You wrote everyone's story. You should submit it to the Grief blog. www.thegriefblog.com. They are having a poetry contest...I submitted 2 poems...the one I just wrote and another one. It is on my blog page...it is called "Softer". You are very talented...beautiful poem! Love, lana
LanaG
So true. Beautiful words.
CarrieinSK