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8:42pm, November 5, 2009
I have not been able to go to my therapist much due to money. Now I have no idea who I can talk too. My mom told me that she does not have to make things better for me anymore. I know that I can not talk to her anymore about this sh*t. I know I need to talk to someone but I am not exactly sure what I would say. So that means I have no one to talk to about nothing. I can not seem to concentrate long enough to do anything. I was just standing in the middle of my living room and could not "do " anything...I was totally frustrated and confused and felt helpless. These are the times when I am not sure what I am supposed to do with myself. Keeping in mind that I have to get up and go to work everyday even though I have only had 2 - 3 hours of sleep each night. It has been going on like this for sometime.
God what do I do.
Comments
I can't seem to get it through my thick skull that he does not want the same things that I want and the I need to move on. I have 2 other guys talking with me and giving out complements but I can not seem to just let go all the way. I am not sure what the reason is for this but I am so frustrated by this I could scream. He has told me that he does not want a commited relationship which I think in guy language means go away woman. If that were true though why would he keep talking to me everyday. I think that is where the confusion is coming from.
My kids are with me for the second weekend in a row due t o a scheduling issue. I feel like such a terrible person but I am so aggrevated with them it is almost unbearable. I am again and as ususal feeling very lost. I love them dearly but it seems like everytime I think I am well enough to have more time with them I end up getting totally stressed out like I am right now. Now I am trying to analyze this and see if I am simply being a stressed out person or if I am being more than that and I am actually being more irritable, as with my bp. I am moving this upcoming weekend out of my parents house. I am looking forward to not living with them anymore and yet I am terrified that I will jsut start to spiral down since I will be alone more.
So so very lost, angry, hurt, scared, and lonely.
Comments
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sorry to hear this... stress is a big issue...when the stress ties in with you bp it is very hard to accept anything. your mind is getting ahead of you......just take it one step at a time.......dont worry yourself too much about , if they come will i be able to handle them, if i move, will i be o k...things like that.......just take it easy and slow...i know it may be hard. but you can do it..........dont let the bp control you, you control the bp. now, moving out of your parents house, you are thinking ahead yourself..,.one thing at a time.. : ) you want to move out, nothing to be worried about then.....you will be just fine.........stay away from the negative thoughts raising threw your head..........no harm intended....have a good day........love ya...hxhx
Past Entries
| September 2009 |
Tuesday, 9/01
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Tuesday, 9/01
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July 2009 |
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Saturday, 7/11
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Monday, 7/06
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June 2009 |
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Sunday, 6/28
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May 2009 |
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Monday, 5/11
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April 2009 |
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Monday, 4/27
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Monday, 4/27
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Saturday, 4/18
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January 2009 |
Sunday, 1/25
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Friday, 1/16
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Tuesday, 1/13
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Tuesday, 1/13
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Sunday, 1/11
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Sunday, 1/11
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December 2008 |
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Saturday, 12/27
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Friday, 12/26
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Friday, 12/19
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Monday, 12/08
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Monday, 12/08
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November 2008 |
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Saturday, 11/29
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Wednesday, 11/26
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Saturday, 11/15
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Tuesday, 11/04
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Monday, 11/03
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October 2008 |
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Thursday, 10/30
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Wednesday, 10/29
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Friday, 10/24
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Thursday, 10/23
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Wednesday, 10/22
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Wednesday, 10/22
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Monday, 10/20
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Sunday, 10/19
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Saturday, 10/18
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Tuesday, 10/14
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Wednesday, 10/08
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Saturday, 10/04
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September 2008 |
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Thursday, 9/25
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July 2008 |
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Saturday, 7/05
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Goal Updated
You can talk to me (We have before.) Please write whenever you like...
Dona
Dona636
so sorry to hear this...........I am here for you as well if you wish to chat............god is looking down upon you and he sees all.......he is going to turn things around for you for the best.........praying for you............love ya
danroy
sorry i am getting late to our journal.....sorry to hear this ask....you just hang in there, god is looking down upon you, he knows your needs....praying for you always, and I am here for you always....... you stay strong in the lord and keep your faith in him. he will work every thing out for you. god bless you........love ya..hxhx
danroy