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kimberee 
12:24am, February 23, 2009
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UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 55%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportbeen in bed for the last several days, tonight I invited my husband over for a belated birthday. he is picking up dinner and I have made his all time favorite dessert. We are going to watch Fireproof. It is an inspirational move about a couple whose marriage is in trouble who work there way back together. He has agreed to go to marriage counseling so wish me luck.
Comments
I haven't journal for such a long time, I thing because I felt that if I didn't write it all down; it wouldn't be true. I am not doing well, I seem to stay in a constant flare and my back problems just make my pain that much worse. I had to have surgery in October and was going to have home care due to an open wound and be in bed for 6 weeks. Praise God that they were able to close the wound and I was just in alot of pain. My mother flew in to help. If you have read my past post you know that my husband and I have had problems for a while. Well it all came to a boiling point and while I was on major medicine I asked him to move out. I could go thru all the details and make me feel vindicated for my actions. But here's the truth I did it in anger and it was WRONG! I love him! and since then it was been really bad. my children have been suffering and I have been in a non-stop flare.
I went to my rheumy on Wednesday who just uped my cymbalta and I went to my Pain dr. who wants to do another translumbar injections in my low back and they were painful last time but I had to rest for 4 days for them to go into effect. I just don't know how I am going to handle this. I feel like I am at the end of my rope. my husband says he wants to work it out but then when he comes over its the same thing, why is the house a mess? I think you should apologize and kiss up to my daughter (which I already have) P.s. my pastor has told him that his daughter is the major problem in our marriage. I just don't know what to do.
Could you please pray? I getting desperate here! 
UPDATED GOALS
Be a happy person
Progress 30%
Encouragements: 0
Add your supportComments
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Im sos sorry this is such a heartbreaker time for you. You are in my prayers.
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prayers and love from me too.
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Many prayers!
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Dear Kimberee, You are in so much pain emotionally and physically that it is incredibly hard for you to handle marital problems. I understand why you told him to leave. He sees things from his own perspective. It sounds like you have a stepdaughter in the mix too. This is already a difficult situation without being in constant pain too.
My advice would be to see a marriage and family counselor that can help you, your husband and step daughter. He needs to understand your medical problems and what it does to you. Even if he won't go, you should go, usually the guy will eventually go if only because they want to tell their side of the story. Many cities have what is usually called Family Service that offer this using a sliding scale of fees according to your income. All of their staff are fully credentialed in their field.
I hope you get the help you need. Remember, if you keep doing the same thing, you will get the same results. You need to be the one to change the situation and get some help.
God bless you. Sue
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Break ups that Happen in Anger, usually reconcile after a "Cooling Off Period" as Long as the Issue at hand can be Resolved...You have been thru So very Much, but he has as well...sometimes we get Overwhelmed, and we do Not/Cannot give the Support we Should easily be able to give...I don;t know what all the issues are...but if they are Important Issues to You, then you Must deal with them...if they were just "Slights" it may be Worth Letting them Go...No Family is Perfect...we all have times where we Just don't like each other, or Ourselves very much...they can be worked thru as Long as the Love is Still there...I learned a Long time ago, you Don't Always Like someone, even IF you Do Love them...
I Hope and Pray that they can Help you to get this Pain Under Control...hard to even Concentrate on ANYTHING Else when the Pain is Intense, your Tolerance for ANYTHING and Everything goes down...I Understand that aspect, but I also Understand being the One to Watch someone I love being in so Much Pain, and there is Nothing I can do about it...after awhile it all gets to be to much...I Hope you 2 can get this Worked thru !! Hugs !!
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I'm praying for you both. I know how hard it is to work a relationship and deal with this freakin' fibro...I had a horrible day...blessings, JF
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you have my prayers friend
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Sweetie...I'm wrapping you up in my prayers. I don't have much time to write as I need to be somewhere in a hour. But I will write later.
What I have found that through these trying times that I need to stop listening to my thoughts and listen only to my heart.
It's amazing how much wisdom there is in our own hearts.
I'll write soon Sweetie!
Hugs and loves,
jen
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We have to ask that people who are harmful in our lives, either get it together or move out of the house. I personally cannot and will not deal with anyone who is increasing my stress level.....it physically hurts my body.
I am leaving a nasty situation also and moving into a different phase of my life that does NOT involve dysfunctional people.
I ask that God lift you up, give you the strength to stand up for yourself and that He grant you the peace that surpasses all understanding...
hugs hon
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Being ill for so long can cause alot of stress and strain for us...praying for you in this situation with your health and hubby.
HUGS
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Lots of thoughts and prayers.
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I am sorry you are going through all this. I know relationships with step children are very difficult. Sending you many prayers and hugs
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Be comforted by the number of good friends you have who are praying for you. Just do the best you can every day - I like AZ sue's s uggestion of seeing a marriage counselor. A third person's perspective is always helpful. Good luck and God Bless. Deb
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I'm so sorry I will pray for you. You hang in there. I know this illness is very intolerable at times. Hang in there and the Lord will take care of the rest. I really feel for you. Write me whenever your up to it. Love you. Love Cris
Past Entries
| January 2009 |
Friday, 1/23
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Friday, 1/23
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August 2008 |
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Saturday, 8/30
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Monday, 8/25
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Sunday, 8/24
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Saturday, 8/23
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Saturday, 8/23
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Friday, 8/01
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May 2008 |
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Sunday, 5/04
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April 2008 |
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Thursday, 4/10
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Thursday, 4/10
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Thursday, 4/10
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February 2008 |
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Sunday, 2/03
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January 2008 |
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Friday, 1/25
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Thursday, 1/24
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December 2007 |
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Wednesday, 12/19
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November 2007 |
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Friday, 11/30
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Monday, 11/19
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Thursday, 11/15
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Saturday, 11/10
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Tuesday, 11/06
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Friday, 11/02
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October 2007 |
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Sunday, 10/28
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Saturday, 10/27
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Friday, 10/26
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Thursday, 10/25
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Wednesday, 10/24
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Wednesday, 10/24
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Goal Updated
I am proud of your decision, sometimes we forget that it is just as easy to fight for something as it is to give up. I had to break up with my husband twice in our 20 years of marriage. both for important reasons, and each time we got help to work thru the problems. when we got married we wanted it to be forever. and there is no reason why it shouldnt be. If you only have problems they can be worked out. It your partner has given up and chosen another you have a harder battle, and it is sometimes easier to let that sit, and just try to live. then if they good in a bind and realize they really love you they will return. Forgiving is so very important. on both accounts yourself and the other person. and looking inward to see why we feel like we do about the others actions. Empathy is hard, but worth it. I know I had to make some serious changes in my life. I found I was too critical, and didnt teach the kids to respect their Dad when he needed it. I dont necessarily mean deserved it, Men are huge bundles of ego. and they need women to stroke that, It is easy to resent that, but it has it's advantages. My husband tells me everyday, how much he loves me and appreciates me,.. I confess to being manipulative regarding his ego. I stroke his heart till he is comfortable enough to discuss our problems.. and I tell him flat out.. I dont want and answer if it isnt the truth. I want to know if I have been mean.. or hurtful.
It is honesty that helps us to risk our hearts.
I really hope that the movie was helpful. I havent heard of it.. we have a Church we belong to and our pastor is a good man who cherishes his wife, and is the first to admit when he has ruffled her feathers.
Give your husband the chance to be honest even if it hurts you, then somehow swallow what lump might be in your throat, and be honest to say how it feels and that you want to work thru that, so he or you for that matter wont have to want to make those kind of mistakes.
humans are full of wild ideas, and emotions, and it doesnt take much to get off track. even the plans we have in our marriages, then our consciences get the best and we try to cover our errors... and secrets and walls are created.
There is a scripture I would like to share with you...
it simply says.. a brother offended is harder to win than a walled city....
think about how we hurt our family or partners, and the selfpreservation we develope to protect ourselves from the repercussions. It is very difficult to break thru.. But it is not impossible.
I wish you the very best and I will pray that God will give you the right words and emotions to share with your husband and that his heart is soft and will receive what is the right thing for the both of you. 2 hearts fit together because of love and compromise... the groves then fit just right.
God Bless you both Kimberee... your friend Rachel
RSHagen
I'm sending you all the love and hope I can spare. I wish you the best of luck in your marriage!! xoxo
AmandaJane7