onthebeach's Journal

What a weird thing.

never a dull moment in this roller coaster I call post divorce crazy time.

I had to go up there to where he lives today to have brake pads put on my car. He is very mechanically inclined and I cannot afford to take it anywhere to be fixed.

I brought my laundry with me to do at my daugher's. Just my bedding. I saw him. he didnt look attractive to me. I am beginning to think although I am sad about the break up of my marriage for sure, the issues surronding the abandonment are what are lingering on.

I did well today. I got to say some things I needed to say face to face to him. "Wow, his nose looked really big. Sorry just had to say that.

I got to call bull sh:t on his "I just dont know what I want. I told him that his behavior in the last 10 months showed me want he wanted and that was to do nothing about our relationship and focus on what he wanted for himself.

I did not yell,and yes I cried but it felt good.

Yet another step in letting go.

On a lighter note, I joined weight watchers last week. Just a few pounds to get off. I think that it will help me with my self worth. I know I feel better working out. I just need to start eating healthier.

anyway thanks for listening

mary