4 and a half years in
September 28, 2009 2:55am
For so long I've been so lost in grief, the first couple of years I coud barely get out of bed. Thre were no groceries in the house, we ate …
Progress
10 %
rememberme 
9:51pm, August 23, 2008
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About Me
rememberme
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About Me
I'm as dead inside as I will soon be outside.
I'm as dead inside as I will soon be outside.
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Interests
I used to love to watch basketball, Mark and I would watch games together and discuss the players, the plays, the teams, now it makes me cry so I can't watch anymore. THERE'S NO CRYING IN BASKETBALL!!!
I used to love to watch basketball, Mark and I would watch games together and discuss the players, the
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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D S
September 9, 2009 1:53am
I cannot stay on this site too long anymore...it's no longer helping me, it hurts Hope others get the help they need, think I'll look …
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Candlelite Vigil
April 30, 2009 1:05am
Finally made it to the candlelite vigil in my city. Wow! There wasn't massive crowds or anything, more like a memorial, with only the …
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The Month Of April
April 23, 2009 11:25am
I hate April. April 3, 2005 is the worst day in human history. That is the day my son Mark was murdered. Even looking at the date …
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Hugbook
Hug
I want to tell you time will help you to be able to deal with your loss. I thought I could not go on living after the death of my son but I am still breathing after 18 years. How much time you will need I cannot say, I think its different with each of us. I still miss John and would give anything for just a few minutes with him but I know its not possible so I just have to keep taking one day at a time. May God give you the strength you need to face each day.
Hug
I'm sorry to hear about your loss and how much pain it causes you. The support group I go to mentioned something about accepting a new reality. I was and still am angry and said so. I don't want a new reality. I lost my mom 2 months ago, and I still at times feel lost. I truly believe that grief changes something inside of you forever. I also believe in finding joy again in my life, but it's not the same. Nothing will be the same again. Maybe that's why it's called a "new" reality, but it's still hard. The loss is still so fresh for me as I'm sure it is for you...the best advice I can give (if you want advice) is try surviving one day at a time and hopefully, you will start to have some joy again (even if for something small). You will be in my prayers...take care
Hug
Anti depressants have helped me. I wouldn't get out of bed with out them. If you're on one that doesn't work, ask dr to try another.
Celebration
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MARK!!!!! Hugs, Ann
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Hug
I lost a son to accidental drug overdose, in 2003. In 2007 my only other hild, my son killed himself. # days fter his memorial his step sister also killed herself. I cannot imaf=gine that there is anything worse than having your child murgered. Suicide is maybe second on the list, but to know someone actuall murdered what was your most valued, most loved thing in the world is too awful to even imagine. I am just crying now for you, I usually cry for my s=loss, but tody, hon I cry for you. I am just so sorry and my heart breaks for you. I will pray for you, Love peggy
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
my son was a victim of homicide. he was 21 when he died. he was trying to help a "family member" who is an addict to stop. the man shot him. this happened april of 2005.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- i've cried a river. my eyes hurt now. sometimes it's dangerous(driving) doesn't make me feel better.
- Getting Angry Considering
- i scream at God every once in a while.
- Keeping Busy Not Working
- i kept myself so busy that i wound up in a hospital, started as a cold turned into bronchitis
- Music Working / Worked
- i listen to the music my son loved. i love it now too, but it makes me feel sad
- Prayer Working / Worked
- seems i'm always begging for help.
- Reading Working / Worked
- i've read many 'life after death' type books. i read the bible, i read whatever will distract me from my pain
- Remembering Working / Worked
- for a long time i couldn't remember much before my son's murder. things are coming back now.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- friends mean the world.
- Talking Somewhat Helpful
- people do get sick of hearing it.
- Time Too Soon to Tell
- i felt so bad for so long, i wondered if it would last for life. thankfully i don't feel quite as bad physically, but i am still sad sad sad
Close Back Pain
SCIATICA need I say more. How do I prevent flare ups? How do I make it go away forever?
Treatments
Open Stress Management
I amm trying to recover from the murder of my child by a member of my extended family. I don't eat, can't sleep, always looking over my shoulder, very angry.
Treatments
Open Irritable Bowel Syndrome (IBS)
I've suffered the drizzelin S**** Since 1999. Didn't know what was up and lived with it until a couple years ago. Finally talked to doc. Thankfully occurs infrequently now, but when it does, get the heck out of my way cause i gotta get into the bathroom NOW!
Treatments
- Avoid Certain Foods / Chemicals Working / Worked
- Yes avoiding certain foods works, but I love some of those foods so I'll eat them anyway, and just spend time paying the consequence.
- Lomotil Working / Worked
- Sometimes had to take an extra dose but on the whole works great for me.
Open Bereavement - Teens
i LOST MY OLDER BROTHRT, OMG IT HURTS
Treatments
- Music Somewhat Helpful
- GAHH I DUNNO
Open Hepatitis C
a very close friend has hcv and is about to start treatment. i want to help.
Open High Blood Pressure
my very close friend suffers from HBP, he will be discussing w/ you guys,,Seems to work for me.. I use a juicer and have a good recipe,,,2 large glases a day about 500ml
Treatments
- Metoprolol Somewhat Helpful
- 1st my BP was at like 180s over 140s doc put me on a beta blocker Toprol XL 50mg a day.. It brought it down some to 150s120s.. I saw a US FDA report on yahoo about beet juice it reported 500ml a day to be beneficial so I tried it.. I make beet juice in a juicer... 2 lg beets 2 or 3 carrots 1 cucumber and a couple of apples Tastes great and brought my BP down more to about 140s130s over 90s Quit for a week went higher started juicin again and it has gone back down.
Open Anxiety
Was Selective Mute as a child, still am sometimes, never had medical intervention, only recently learned it's a real honest to goodness disorder, was led to believe I'm filled with character flaws.
Treatments
- Breathwork Working / Worked
- Helps to get oxygen in the brain
- Meditation Working / Worked
- Learned this as a teen, helps to center myself, but doesn't calm the fear
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- I try so hard to be positive, last fews years it's been impossible, Maybe if I keep trying things will get better
Open Dementia
My father is 95. He is currently living in a nursing facility.
