socc951's Journal

honestly, it has been a year.... attempted suicide feb. 1st, 2008. in the hospital for five days, while they monitored my pseudo levels. i overdosed on like 153 pills.  I was in a mental hospital for almost two months, then had a full day program at another place.  finally, after spring break, i was backed down to half-days, and went back to high school on the other half.  i was a senior at this time, so it was really critical that i missed these two months.  luckily, i still graduated at the top 10% of my class.  i went to a community college for fall. however, i was still closely watched by my parents.  i am at a college about 100 miles away from home now. away from parents, thank goodness, but also away from close close friends.....and i feel isolated like hell.  it sucks! and i've still been cutting/self-harming....

seen many therapists/counselors/psychiatrists, etc. and been put on plenty of different medication.  nothing has worked....   i am currently off all medication (by orders of my psychiatrist)...not sure if that's a good thing or not. should i be on something? Because, i am still having mass thoughts that i should not be having.  Sorry that i haven't been on in a while, been kinda busy....