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twilightmoon 
6:15pm, September 22, 2009
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About Me
twilightmoon
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About Me
The Love of my life, my soulmate and very best friend died on 4th November, '08 from non small cell Lung cancer. The last seven precious weeks of his life were in a Hospice. I am still reeling from the shock, and finding it so hard to face life without Melvyn. We were inseparable, and did most things together. He was the most gifted man in so many ways, but he was renowned for his jokes! We have three wonderful children, (all grown up) two daughters and a son, and five brilliant Grandchildren..two boys, three girls, who are a constant source of delight and joy, and are helping to keep me going through this so painful time of my life. I am hoping to write a book of our journey through life, and through the illness, so that others can read what we both learned, and it may help them or their loved ones on their journey. Healing is what I am trying to do now..2008 was such a traumatic year for us all..I want also to help and reassure others in the same position as me...as so many wonderful friends on DS have done for me, in helping me to get through this agonising time. However it is Springtime..and I am Hopeful of some better days, both weather- wise and psychologically. "All healing is letting go, and all letting go is healing".....
The Love of my life, my soulmate and very best friend died on 4th November, '08 from non small cell Lung cancer. The last seven precious weeks of his life were in a Hospice. I am still reeling from the shock, and finding it so hard to face life without Melvyn. We were inseparable, and did most things together. He was the most gifted man in so many ways, but he was renowned for his jokes! We have three wonderful children, (all grown up) two daughters and a son, and five brilliant Grandchildren..two
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Interests
I Love reading, writing, .. poetry, short stories etc., collecting favourite childhood story books, Christmas books, making gemstone jewellery, photography and Italy..
I Love reading, writing, .. poetry, short stories etc., collecting favourite childhood story books, Christmas
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Journal
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This entry is private
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Depression
Type: Clinical (Major) DepressionI've suffereed from depression on and off all my life, since my early teens, but didn't realise what was 'wrong' with me. It has affected my working life seriously, and I've abandoned jobs because of it. It has made me feel weak.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Somewhat Helpful
- Cognitive B.T. did help for a while, and I went on holiday soon after. However, the depression also includes anxiety symptoms, and it returns periodically. I can get depressed at any time of the year, but am affected by SAD symptoms every year.
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- Do my best, and try to read stuff to support this.Sometimes just not enough.
- Prozac Not Working
- Gave me terrible anxiety, and feelings of disorientation.
- Psychotherapy Somewhat Helpful
- I have had several times when I have had counseling, with varying degrees of success. Sometimes I feel worse, for having to dredge everything up yet again. Prefer informal 'talking' with people who've 'been there'.
- Support from Friends & Family Somewhat Helpful
- Don't really like to be seen as moaning to friends, so keep conversation minimal. Family members vary in what they understand, but keep trying to explain. Hopefully we'll get there!
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writin has been my lifeline. Wrote a series of poems as therapy about my feelings and experiences, and my past etc. Really helped to get it out on paper. Would like to share some of it if it would help others.
Close Bereavement
Type: Loss of a Partner/SpouseMy husband, best friend and soul mate died Nov. 4th. My heart aches constantly, and I feel lost without him. We did everything together.It is agony.. My Dad died 1991, I think my heart broke apart that day...My Mum died November 10th 2004..the pain is still raw. Our family fell apart, and there were awful things said and done. Still reeling from the impact. Family issues are healing a little, didn't think they ever would.Also lost a baby way back in1974, and the deep grief has never left me.
Treatments
- Crying Somewhat Helpful
- Tears are helpful as a release...but the pain remains..It does help until the next build up of emotion...
- Keeping Busy Somewhat Helpful
- I want to write a book this year, 2008 about our life, and his courage whilst ill...'One More Mountain To Climb' will be it's title... I started as a University Lecturer two weeks after my Dad died, and it hurt alot as it was so soon, but I wanted to let him know I had the courage to do it, as he encouraged me so much.
- Music Working / Worked
- Sometimes it soothes..sometimes it helps to bring out the deepest pain. The music from SOMEWHERE IN TIME does this the best for me..
- Poetry Working / Worked
- I write poetry as a therapeutic process..it does help somewhat
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I have had signs from Melvyn already..my prayers were answered! I also prayed for some sign to know that my parents were OK...I have received so many since my Mum died..it just cannot be coincidence!
- Reading Working / Worked
- I read everything I could about Life After Death, and Spirituality in general...it gave me alot of knowledge and helped significantly as it gave me HOPE.
- Remembering Working / Worked
- I wrote poems and pieces of prose to help..and acknowledge..and it did help quite significantly.
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- This helps to a point, but as there were problems in the family, it was difficult. Friends, again, up to a point. I know they did their best, but everyone seems to have their own set of problems, and people are time-limited.
- Support Groups Working / Worked
- Daily Strength is wonderful...have joined the Depression, Anxiety group, and now I'm hoping this one will help too.
- Talking Working / Worked
- Yes, talking usually helps me..but there are times when the inward pain doesn't respond and silence and introspection are the only friends you have.
- Time Working / Worked
- Time really does help, but if there are problems or issues left surrounding the losses, these can complicate the grieving process, and it is very hard to move on.
Open Widows & Widowers
My husband died on 4th November, 2008. He had metastasised Lung cancer, and spent the last seven weeks of his life in a local Hospice. He had never smoked and we lived a healthy lifestyle. He was my True Love, my Best Friend and my wonderful soul mate. I knew I loved him the moment I saw him and the feeling was of'coming home'.I miss him so deeply and achingly, and can't see how my life can ever have true meaning in a whole sense without him..I hope it can however. I have three wonderful kids.
Treatments
- Grief Counseling Working / Worked
- Psychotherapy Working / Worked
- I was having this before my husband died, and I will continue it at least for a while. I really got on well with my Psychologist which helped alot. It is helpful to be able to express my feelings and to put them into context..She helps me to see things from a different perspective.
- Writing Working / Worked
- Writing is my lifeline. I write poetry and am hoping to finish a book I started about all our experiences on this particular journey and other experiences along the way...It helps me to understand myself and my life as it happens and to see the bigger picture. My husband asked me to write this book whatever happened..I will!
- Music Working / Worked
- Listening to music can be very therapeutic and sometimes cathartic..depending on my mood. It can lift bring back bittersweet memories and can also help release painful and stuck feelings. It sometimes hurts at the time...but the release afterwards is good.
