Journal

Just a few funnies that came from Ruster's.  I thought they were worth sharing for Halloween.  Thanks Rusters!

Q. Why do demons and ghouls hang out together? A. Because demons are a ghouls best friend!

Q. What's a monster's favorite bean? A. A human bean.

Q. Why can't the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.

Q. What do you call a witch who lives at the beach? A. A sand-witch.

Q. Where does a ghost go on Saturday night? A. Anywhere where he can boo-gie.

Q. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? A. You suck.

Q. What do ghosts say when something is really neat? A.Ghoul

Q. Why did the ghost go into the bar? A. For the Boos.

Q. Why was the girl afraid of the vampire? A. He was all bite and no bark.

Q. Why did the game warden arrest the ghost? A. He didn't have a haunting license.

Q. Why didn't the skeleton dance at the party? A. He had no body to dance with.

Q. Where does Count Dracula usually eat his lunch? A. At the casketeria.

Q. What happens when a ghost gets lost in the fog? A. He is mist.

Q. Where did the goblin throw the football? A. Over the ghoul line.

Q. Why doesn't Dracula mind the doctor looking at his throat. A. Because of the coffin.

Q. Why is a ghost such a messy eater? A. Because he is always a goblin.

Q. What do you call a goblin who gets too close to a bonfire? A. A toasty ghosty.

Q. Why did the Vampire read the Wall Street Journal? Q. He heard it had great circulation.

Q. What tops off a ghost's ice cream sundae? A. Whipped scream.

Q. What do you give a skeleton for valentine's day? A. Bone-bones in a heart shaped box.

Q. What are ghosts' favorite kind of streets? A. Dead ends

Q. What is a vampires favorite holiday? A. Fangsgiving

Q. What kind of makeup do ghosts wear? A. Mas-scare-a.

Q. Why did the skeleton cross the road? A. To go to the body shop.

Q. What happens when two vampires meet? A. It was love at first bite!

Q. Who was the most famous ghost detective? A. Sherlock Moans.

Q. What do you call two spiders that just got married? A. Newlywebbed

Q. What is a ghosts favorite place on the web? A. www.halloween.com!

VanGogh's family...

His dizzy aunt ------------------------------------------------------------ Verti Gogh
The brother who ate prunes--------------------------------------- Gotta Gogh 
The brother who worked at a convenience store ------ Stop N Gogh 
The grandfather from Yugoslavia ------------------------------------- U Gogh 
His magician uncle ----------------------------------------- Where-diddy Gogh 
His Mexican cousin -------------------------------------------------- A Mee Gogh 
The Mexican cousin's American half-brother -------------- Gring Gogh 
The nephew who drove a stage coach ------------------ Wells-far Gogh 
The constipated uncle ---------------------------------------------- Can't Gogh 
The ballroom dancing aunt ---------------------------------------- Tang Gogh 
The bird lover uncle ------------------------------------------------ Flamin Gogh 
The fruit-loving cousin ------------------------------------------------ Man Gogh 
An aunt who taught positive thinking ---------------------- Way-to-Gogh 
The little bouncy nephew ------------------------------------------- Poe Gogh 
A sister who loved disco ---------------------------------------------- Go Gogh 
And his niece who travels the country in an RV --- Winnie Bay Gogh

The funny thing about this is that I have a cat named VanGogh, because he has only one ear!

Bumpus back again, it is not fair that mom gets to write in my journal...just not fair!  She thinks I have ADHD, but it was just the catnip she left out for us...oh look...colors...Wow, how cool.  I love catnip, especially when I can have a catnap afterwards.  The world is all floaty and I have kaleidoscope eyes, hey, I think that is a song.  I heard it on the radio once.  Ohhh, more colors....I have beautiful blonde hair and I think mom should put bows in it even though I am a boy.  They would look so pretty....maybe blue ones or red ones or even green ones!  She is kind of mad at me today because I had a case of poopy britches again, so I am going to throw up in her room, just as soon as I come down from my high, maybe I will barf the catnip back up, wonder if it is as good coming up as it is going down?  Oh well time for my daily barf and catnap. 

I, Bumpus do deny and disavow any of the writing above. I was under the influence of an hallucinogenic fed to me by my mother (even though I enjoyed it).