My wife and I have been married …
My wife and I have been married for 4 years and through invetro, we have new born twins at home. I need someone to …
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dulcylee 
8:48pm, November 24, 2009
I am not sure how many of you are familiar with Facebook, but recently I had several friends tell me to join, so I did. Well, I found a girl, Kristy, that was one of my best friends for many years. Actually the girl I mentioned in my last post (Jeni) and Kristy & I...well, we were the three musketeers in high school. When I got sick...Kristy kind of neglected me. I was in the hospital for 36 days...she never came to see me...called me maybe twice. Jeni called me everyday, saw me at least once a week & even arranged an old friend to come see me from Oregon. Anyway, Kristy & I would occasionally see each other as we ended up going to the same university several years later. But, our friendship was never the same. I forgave her though for not being the true friend I thought she was & she claimed to be.
While in college she met a man thru one of her friends. They had only been dating for a couple months when they decided to get married. She made it a point to come find me on campus to show me her Tiffany ring (knowing I had just broken up with my boyfriend of 8mths)...this guy is more then 10yrs older then her. She never really had a boyfriend before him. I have yet to meet him.
Anyway, the other day Kristy & I were messaging each other on Facebook. I mentioned being PG again. She told me congrats as she just had another child (now a 3yo boy & a baby girl) & she said she knows how wonderful it is to be a mommy. After my 1st m/c I learned she had just experienced one too. She had no sympathy or empathy...it was like it didn't phase her. She knows I have to do IVF....she has never said anything about it, but I didn't think much of it because she hasn't really been a part of my life for many years really.
Today my brother called & told me to look at her DH's (should say dear ass') profile....this is what it said!
"STUPID = People who can't have children that pay money for IVF.
Perhaps God is telling you to
1. ADOPT or
2. DONT HAVE KIDS!!!!"
Now I have to say, it is taking every ounce of me to not respond to him or tell her she is married to a selfish ignorant dick!!! Sorry, I don't normally write words like this in my posts. My brother is REALLY mad & wants to get his lick in on this guy. I posted on my brother's profile this response...I was hoping it would make me feel better (not sure it did anything but fuel the fire!)!!!!!
"Stupid = people that can't pull their heads out of their own ass long enough
to see that other people aren't as lucky as some &
that they have to actually work for things they dream of!!!!
Ignorant close minded jack asses!!!
Not all of us are trying to be the octo mom ~ just a mom!!!"
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OMGOSH!! that is soooo terrible!! I would definitely respond to her and just address it as well what ur husband written includes me b/c I do have to IVF. I would let her know that ur feeling r hurt and u don't apprecaite it at all!! That is the craziest thing I have ever heard in my life!!! It's not like ur trying to have 50... u just want one lil blessing, along with all of us!! I'm so sorry that there r such ignorant ppl out there... well I wont say ignorant ppl I will say I'm sorry that he is sooo ignorant!!
Mommy2anangel
Wow, what a B@#$%, sorry but that is what she makes herself to sound like. What a horrid thing to say. I don't normally talk like this either but that is just SO MEAN and hurtful.....she has no cluse obviously. I would FOR SURE have responded like that great come back. She needs to know how wrong and hurtful she was toward you especially.....IGNORE the nasty comment hun, I think what you have gone through and survived makes you a much bigger person then she could even dream of being. Hope the rest of your weeked goes OK. Lets catch up soon OK. XOXO Take care sweety. XOXO
Faith09
I think I may need need his phone number so I can call and give him my thoughts. I am shocked and impressed tha tyou haven't said anything directly to him or Kristy. I would be FIRED UP! I would say somehting if it was me. Sorry people are so rude.
Ahopper
Sorry you are dealing with this.
Will responding make you feel better? If yes, then go right ahead and get it off your chest.....
I always feel that I will be surrounded by igmorant ppl at some point in my life, I then have to either deal with it or walk away.
BUT, the beauty of Facebook is the ability to "un-friend" ppl. If you truly feel that this person is NOT the friend you thought/she claims to be, why are you taking PRECIOUS time out of your life to associate with her?
I say REMOVe her promptly, if she asks why? TELL HER!
Hope the rest of your weekend goes better! :)
Z1977
I agree with z1977, we are surrounded by ignorant people who do or don't agree with what we do. But its how YOU react to them that really matters. Let's face it, IVF is controversial, Im still not 100% about what to do if we have left over embryos, it's a personal and painful decision. The "octomom" has brought out a lot of emotion & opinions in people. Don't give any more energy or attention to this person. Ignore him.
And trust me, if he thinks he knows what God is thinking than he should know...God is watching over his poor lost soul and can see that his concerns are misplaced and hurtful. That's good enough for me! HE is the judge in the end!
LaureNJ
OMG, I still think that it is so ridiculous that there are so many ignorant people out there. It really makes me so angry and I'm glad that you left that message on your brothers page...and hopefully your friend and her stupid ass of a husband will see it.
My BFF was telling me one day how she thinks she is going to have a hard time getting pregnant and doesnt think she will ever be able to. She proceeds to tell me how her husband (who is very Catholic) does not believe in IVF and he would never allow them to do it.....this is while I am currently going through it. He doesnt "believe" in it and would go to adoption before he would EVER consider IVF. Nice, right?? The same friend has also said numerous times....."Ugh! I cant wait for all of this IVF stuff to be over with" And I have never responded, but I have always just wanted to say "really?? YOU cant wait for it to be over?? How about me?? The one who is ACTUALLY going trough it..."
People are stupid....and this wont be the last time you encounter a stupid person. We are doing what we have to do to make our dreams come true. I think that in the end we will love our children that much more......we will appreciate them bc we truly planned to have them and want them.
You should do what Zed said and "un-friend" her....you dont need that kind of person in your life. Only people who truly love and support you and everything in your life. I hope you can find peace with this. Baby Dust to you!!!
RoxiesMama
This has me in tears! I cannot stand ignorant people, how dare he say something like that when he has no idea what he's talking about. Oh this makes me so angry
4EVERinLOVE
I love your response to that. That is VERY stupid of that person to say that. It makes me so angry. I agree to maybe unfriend her. You need positive people in your life. Lots of prayers and good thoughts your ways.
msnrn
Heck, I want to joint just to say something to the two of them. How dare they speak of something they don't know a darn thing about. Rise above them! Don't let them get the best of you.
LDosch
Thanks to each of you! I think that overall it isn't just this one instance that is bothering me. I know it goes back to when I had my transplant & she didn't really support me thru that either. I am thinking a lot about "un-friending" her & how I am going to let her know why. I have been dealing with IVF for 2 yrs now & infertility since I was 18 (I knew I would be infertile at that time) & in all honesty I have never been so offended by anyone else's comments. I think it is the fact he wrote it only minutes after her & I messaged one another about my trials & tribulations. I am going to give it more thought, write her & basically end what communication I have left with her. I was raised Christian ~ just like her & both our moms taught us..."If you don't have anything nice..." Apparently they both forgot that lesson being up on their perfect high pedestals!!!! Thanks girls...you are TRUE FRIENDS!!!!! I love you all so much!!!
dulcylee
Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry you had to deal with such an igorant jackass. I can't believe someone would actually write something like that!! This really does show you who your "true" friends are...she certainly isn't one of them, and neither is her pathetic excuse of a husband!!!
kokomokers
Wow.. that really pisses me off. It is actually making my blood boil. I don't understand how people can be so ignorant. I am sorry sweetie.. screw both of them.. karma is a bitch.
Shanny2007
I have to say that I H-A-T-E what the octo-mom has done for the face of IVF/IF treatments... it set the progress back SO far...
Anyway, I think you should un-friend her and tell her why. Right now you only need ++ vibes and ++ people. She's an @$$. I'm on FB more than I'm on DS- I'd love to "Friend" you on there if you want! :)
MsH
what an a$$hole! I would un-friend her and send her a nice loong email telling her exactly why!! Hugs :)
Amy522
I'm addicted to FB! I'm always seeming to rot on there and have had a blast catching up with friends! We even have a group put together to plan our 20 yr reunion! WOW, when did we all get so old! LOL!
As for your friend's DA**, I'll go request freindship with him and say a thing or two! Grrr! What do people think! Maybe he was just talking about the "octo mom"???! I'm not defending him, but that would be a guess seeing as I feel mean and horrible thoughts when her name comes up in the new too!
htag
I am so sorry that you have to put up with a "friends" husband writing things like that. Thats a horrible thing to post anywhere!
Not to defend him, but he probably wrote that about the single momther who now has 14 kids via IVF.
jamie329
OMG, what an ass! You should send him my way, Ill tell him where to shove it! lol
Unfortunately there are lots of ignorant, stupid people out there and all we can do is try our best to educate them and surround ourselves with positive, supportive friends (like me of course!). I agree with a lot of the other ladies that I would de-friend her and tell her why. You dont need to deal with that nonsense...love ya! xoxo
bcgradgirl
Wow, that goes beyond ignorant and insensitive. I guess the trials of our lives show everyone's true colors. I am guessing he was reacting to something particular like the octo mom, but wow, what an awful thing to say.
sadbelly
Wow, I'm so mad right now! I can't believe how ignorant people can be! I would definitely not be her friend anymore, you certainly don't need people like that in your life.
Jen2279
Ok, my blood is boiling now. You definitely need to give these guys a piece of your mind and un-friend this Kristy girl on FB. You've given her plenty of chances to be a good friend and she obviously has no clue. I agree with Shanny......karma is a bitch!
TiredJen
I am so disgusted with this guy. What a complete ignorant jerk. It says a little something about your friend. I don't mean to make you feel worse, but she doesn't deserve your friendship from the little I've heard about how she's treated you. Don't let ANYONE get you down. You have gone through way too much. So glad to hear you are 14 weeks!!!:)
MrsStacy
people can be so terribly thoughtless i remember when i was pregnant with my daughter watchin a series on tv that followed several couples who were undergoing ivf and feeling guilty for having had it so easy because ivf isnt the easy option either physicaly or
emotionally this B****** should keep his mouth shut he is only making him self look like an idiot
maggieww
I would be mad as well! I for sure would un-friend her. You don't need negative people in your life right now. Her husband sounds like a real piece of work!! Try not to let this get you down and just know that you truly are better than they are. I hate it when people have to degrade other people to make themselves feel good.
Baby_Blues99
OMG I really don't get the cold indifference some people have for the trials of others. We *all* have difficulties in our lives and it goes to show that this jerk she is married to is so insecure he has to attack other people. Who knows maybe he has some insecurity in the sex department so he has to make fun of and hurt people who have to struggle with trying to conceive a child. I also suspect that the reason this man wrote what he did was because his wife told him about your conversation or he read what she was writing to you. This says to me that she either supports his position and/or she also feels this way. Personally, I would *have* to confront her. And I suspect she feels exactly the same way he does and they were probably making fun of you the whole time you were talking to each other or shortly thereafter. I think its time to cut ties to this woman. She is *not* your friend! You really don't need toxic people like this in your life, stick with the real friends you have. You don't need her or their idea of fun!!! Hugs, Fern
starflower
OMG GIRL I CANT BELIEVE HE POSTED THAT! I DONT THINK SHE IS ANY SORT OF FRIEND TOO U AND I WOULDNT EVEN TALK TO HER IF I WAS U! BUT DONT MIND THEM BE HAPPY UR PREGO AND EVERYTHING IS GOING GREAT! HUGZ
GODBLESSMYBABY
Ok I'm just getting to this journal and I have to tell you that while reading this I wanted to go on facebook find this guy and yell at him. HOW RUDE! I dont understand how people can be so cruel and heartless. Dont waste your time thinking about those ignorant people, because they arent worth it. Just focus on your miracle baby and treasure every moment. God will handle the stupid jack-ass'.
sam23
i cant believe someone would be so selfish and stupid to write or event think something like that. you should tell him direclty what an a@s he is. she is no friend either. you should lose touch once and for all with both of them.
suzypsz