Journal

Finally after a year of struggling to get into programs I've been able to find some help! I finally found a program that might help me and that will focus on my Borderline Personality Disorder. 

I pray that this works and I'll keep an open mind!!! 

It feels as though I'm wrapped up in tight blanket full of pins and needles...

When I try to get comfortable and feel ok and no pain I turn, but it's the same thing...

There is hurt everywhere I turn and I need to pull out of here before i do something... I'm scared to know what my limits are... I'm scared to figure out how far is too far for me... What is my rock bottom???

I called so many different mental health organizations today, but as soon as you tell them you're diagnosed with BPD, they treat you like a spaz. They don't take you seriously! I need to get out of here... I want out of these clothes, I want out of this shell!!!! It's so empty in here....

Who can help me... I don't care if I have to go away for treatment, I don't care the cost... I just need and want to get better NOW!

If anyone can help, please...  

I haven't been on forever because I've been so busy with school and work. It's keeping me busy, which is good, but when I get down time I begin to think about stuff! I don't really like it. It makes me anxious and crazy! 

I haven't been able to work on any treatment for my disorder, which makes me think all the work I have done is just being undone by time.