Here we go again!
April 17, 2008 11:32am
I was recently on prozac, tramadol, elavil, migraine meds, gabapentin, mevacor, soma. xanax. percocet...all these were in my …
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JohnsMom4Evr 
2:29pm, January 31, 2009
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About Me
JohnsMom4Evr
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About Me
I used to be full of life. I based my life around my 2 kids, but now I focus on my daughter and her 3 babies....yet, my main focus is on my Son John that I lost 4 years ago. I can't get the images of his car accident out of my head. although I didn't see the accident or his car, and knowing that he didn't feel any pain does make me feel better, but just imagining my beautiful Son burning in his car has tormented me to where I can't get the visuals out of my head. Please help me to find the strength to endure this pain of the loss, not hearing his voice, laughter or jokes. Not seeing his smile or his way he called me mama and the way he would go out of his way to make me laugh with his impersonations. I lost my Mom 2 months before him, so I don't have her to go to. I am just lost, and feel that I burden everyone if I talk about it. I don't know what to do, but keep praying and keeping the faith. I also have Fibromyalgia and neuropathy which adds to my daily pain. Sometimes it's just too much to handle both the physical and the mental at the same time. I could use your help if it's out there. God Bless all of you for having suffered a loss also. Pam
I used to be full of life. I based my life around my 2 kids, but now I focus on my daughter and her 3 babies....yet, my main focus is on my Son John that I lost 4 years ago. I can't get the images of his car accident out of my head. although I didn't see the accident or his car, and knowing that he didn't feel any pain does make me feel better, but just imagining my beautiful Son burning in his car has tormented me to where I can't get the visuals out of my head. Please help me to find the strength
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Interests
Not too many at this time.
Not too many at this time.
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Recent Activity
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Journal
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Journal Entry for October 14, 2007
October 14, 2007 4:03pm
My boyfriend has Hep C, but looking at information from a biopsy a few years back, I noticed it said that he has active micronodular cirrhosis with …
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Journal Entry for September 30, 2007
September 30, 2007 1:47pm
I am having a difficult time. Let me back up and explain a little bit about my situation. I lost both my Mother and Son in 2004. My …
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Hugbook
Prayer
for you,have not seen you around in a while.
Prayer
You are very welcome. You and Shelle (and family) are always in my thoughts. My heart aches for all of you. Wish I could fill the void in your lives and hearts. But, only the Holy Spirit can do that. I am praying for you.
Rainbow
Hope this rainbow brightens your day. XOXOBillye
Kiss
miss you mom i hope to see you soon and maybe when you come out just you and we can have more one on one time. anyways love you im going to take a little nap try to and rest im feeling sick to my tummy. talk to you tomorrow.
Flower
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Photos
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Support Groups
Close Bereavement
My Son John died in a car accident on 12/31/04, 9 days after his 18th Birthday. I raised my 2 kids basically on my own and they are my best friends. He was so handsome, funny, smart, and just a major part of my heart that feels has been taken away from me. It was bad enough that he died, but the part that I envision the most is picturing him burning in his car. He died upon impact, so there wasn't any pain, it's just hard to picture that beautiful boy burning like that.
Treatments
- Crying Not Working
- I can't stop crying wheneven I say his name or see his pictures or see any teenagers. I need help with this.
- Getting Angry Not Working
- I have Fibromyalgia and Neuropathy on top of the grief for my Son. I can't handle the pain and the grief at the same time.
- Grief Counseling Considering
- Can't find one in my area
- Pets Working / Worked
- It worked to have my dog Blue here during my times of crying, but he passed away a year ago. Now another best friend is gone. :(
- Prayer Working / Worked
- I pray everyday for the strength to get through this pain, but it just doesn't seem to go away.
- Remembering Not Working
- It hurts too much to remember John. The tears start flowing and I can't make them stop.
- Talking Not Working
- Nobody seems to understand why I haven't been able to get over losing John yet. It's been 4 years but feels like it just happened yesterday.
- Time Not Working
- I thought it would get better over time, but it just seems to get worse. I know I need some therapy or something, but I can't afford it.
Close Fibromyalgia
I've been diagnosed for over 20years, but recently within the last year got diagnosed with neuropathy. I am also dealing with depression for losing my son 4 years ago, so the stress has been kept it flared for quite some time now, I know stress is a main factor, but the depression and anxiety it weighing on me pretty heavy. it's a vicious cycle I can't get myself out of. Trying to deal with the mental and the physical at the same time is really taking it's toll on me and I need input please!
Treatments
- Aqua Therapy Working / Worked
- I take hot baths which help. insurance won't pick up on water arobics
- Cymbalta Not Working
- wouldn't recommend...too many side effects
- Duragesic Patch Working / Worked
- it works for some areas, but I hurt pretty much all over. last I checked they didn't have a whole body patch ;)
- Elavil Working / Worked
- gained too much weight
- Heat Working / Worked
- if I can locate one area that hurts the most I use it. and it takes the edge off
- Neurontin Working / Worked
- seems to be ok
- Carisoprodol Working / Worked
- helps to relax the muscles
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- after I get done with cleaning houses
Open Back Pain
I have a degenerative disc that I've had for 5 years now, but now I noticed something different. I have 4 VERY painful spots on my spine. Nothing shows up on the x-ray and the insurance won't approve an mri or anything else. I think I need a spinal tap or something. Something just isn't right, but I can't get anyone to listen. does anyone know what could cause this? is it arthritis or something different. The pain is really bad when I clean or bend over. what could be causing this?
Treatments
- Bedrest Working / Worked
- sometimes until I get too stiff
- Carisoprodol Working / Worked
- works with vicodin, but then I'm too tired to do anything
- Heat Working / Worked
- sometimes
- Hydrocodone Working / Worked
- yes
- Stretching Not Working
- hurts my spine to stretch
Open Depression
Treatments
- Celexa Not Working
- stop taking due to side effects
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Considering
- Cymbalta Not Working
- stop taking due to side effects
- Elavil Not Working
- Dr. took me off to try zoloft
- Positive Thinking Working / Worked
- I try
- Prozac Not Working
- stop taking due to drug interactions
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Support from Friends & Family Working / Worked
- It helps to talk to my Daughter, but I don't like to upset her...she is going through the same thing
- Wellbutrin Not Working
- stop taking due to side effect
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- Klonopin Too Soon to Tell
- seems to keep anxiety under control better then xanax
Open Sexual Abuse
I don't know when I started to get sexually abused, but I know it was when I was very young...I can still smell the alcohol on his breath. but I don't know who it was. I do know that my Brother sexually abused me for many years from 8-13. My first husband would get forceful when he drank or did drugs. I just wish the memories would go away. I know this sounds bad, but to this day I can't trust men. I'm always afraid they're going to cheat on me, and them watching filth just repulses me.
Treatments
- Emotions Anonymous (EA) Not Working
- I try to block most of them out but sometimes the flashbacks last for hours
- \"The Courage To Heal\" Somewhat Helpful
- I want to get the memories out of my head and out of my life...it still affects me to this day
Open Anxiety
Treatments
- Klonopin Too Soon to Tell
- Positive Thinking Somewhat Helpful
- try to think positive all the time, but it comes and goes
- Xanax Working / Worked
- don't take it as much anymore unless I can't sleep
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- just started taking it a week ago
Open Chronic Fatigue Syndrome
I just don't sleep. Am always tired the next day and the exhaustion is terrible. They say this is part of Fibromyalgia, as if that isn't difficult enough to deal with. I take ambien to help me sleep, along with the numerous other meds the dr has me on, but still something isn't quite right. I don't know how to shut my mind down so I can sleep. How am I suppose to function everyday if I'm so tired?
Treatments
Open Osteoporosis
I have had osteoporosis basically since my hysterectomy at 26. 1991. I was told I have bones of an 80 year old. could this have anything to do with getting arthritis in my back? I know my knees are affected. I need to go for a bone density test if the insurance approves it. I think I just need to go to a rheumatologist for alot of my issues but I need approval for that too. The dr doesn't even give me anything for it because of all my other meds. where do I go from here? I'm only 45!
Open Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder
After losing my son to a car accident and having the visuals of him burning in his car (which he died upon impact) I still can't get the thoughts out of my head, but nobody thinks that I have PTSD, I still have visions of being sexually abused as a child, etc. Try living in my shoes for 5 minutes and tell me that the thoughts and visions wouldn't cause that. How do I finally get it diagnosed? I need input on how to get these thoughts and visions out of my head.
Treatments
- Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Considering
- EMDR Considering
- Psychotherapy Considering
- Topamax Not Working
- had terrible mood swings
- Zoloft Too Soon to Tell
- just started taking it a week ago
