So sleepy...
I have never slept this much in my life. Fourteen hours last night and twelve the night before. I still feel tired. My …
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Hey All
Its been a long time since I wrote. Just before Thanksgiving so I can't give you the info how it happen but I tell you what happen as I remember. Thanksgiving day was a bad day. A friend I met on line who I knew for about 3 years and met last summer was home alone chock on some food and died so it was a bad day for me. I was very upset and got a headache from crying all day. I did watch games and enjoyed them in a way but in a way I just went through the motions. I did get my chip and I was happy about it but having lost my friend and having car problems at home I didn't go to meetings or PT for about 2 and half weeks. My son Joey was sick and with the holidays it was hard to get a appointment and going to the ER was a no go around the holidays. I did take him to the doctor and he did have a infection and put on antibiotics again. The doctor was a ass and all I wanted was to get the hell out of there. I did miss going to the gym but I did go once without Joey. But then I got down and didn't want to go. Then came Thanksgiving and then we made an excuse then finally we started back. But today I didn't go I wasn't feeling the hottest. My stepmom called and said since they were on social security disability and couldn't afford alot of presents they came up with a game and all the adults buy presents no more then 25 dollars a piece then the younger kids they would buy presents for so I ask her what about my friends grandson and she hem and haw around and said well we just buy him something and I said ok thank you. Well the next day she called back and said she couldn't afford nothing for him since he wasn't part of the family and I said well I didn't ask her to anyway and was pissed. Couldn't afford a toy for a kid but wanted me to buy 150 dollars worth of presents for a game my husband was mad and said no. So later that week or the next don't remember I call and said we would come but we wouldn't play the game because we was on disability to and we couldn't afford 150 dollars worth of presents for a game but I was buying alex a present and rhonda a present and dad hinted about his birthday being on christmas and I said I knew. So getting him a card but money maybe. I went to meetings and vented but I still was pissed. I've been depressed lately and I figure out why I'm tired of taking medicine and so I talk with someone at the hospital and I probably go in after the first of the year and get detox of my medicnes. Not saying medicines are bad. Its just I don't know if I'm needing them for pain or I 'm just needing them. I don't take strong meds but It don't have to be strong to be addicted to them. So I'm getting a MRI and then going into lock up for awhile to get detox. I still have alot to do for my school and alot to do at the house and the holidays to get through. I want a reason to take the meds. I know I may not be able to go off all of them and thats ok but I can start over and see what happens.I've done this before and did okay and I think I do okay this time to I know the people there and the doctors.I still got lots of stuff to do at home and make sure everything goes well while I'm gone. I will miss my computer and everyone here but maybe when I come back I will feel better about myself and have more smiles. I will be able to do more things maybe still have limits but do more then what I do now. I will have problems with the school. Its a pain in the butt but Its a health problems so what can they do. Well other then what I mention that is the biggest problems except for the usull money problems we get a raise next month but with food prices on the rise it wont make a difference. haha Well everyone have a good day or night and pain free. Love ya all. Robin
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Streess Level (1-10)
10
Encouragements: 10
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2 yrs Clean
Progress 95%
Encouragements: 17
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Hamg in there. Things will get better my friend.
ROB2211
i am sorry you are having such a rough time....it will be ok..just keep telling yourself that...it will work out for you..you will see...big ((HUGS))
robinbird21us
Been to the hospital to detox not such a bad idea. Kind of sets you out on aclean path again.
lilje
SO SORRY ABOUT YOUR FRIEND PASSING AWAY. THAT MUST HAVE BEEN A REAL SHOCK!!!
I HOPE YOU DO WELL IN DETOX AND IT GIVES YOU WHAT YOU'RE LOOKING FOR. DEBBIE
SlipperySlope
Hey sweetie, I'm so very sorry to hear about your friend's passing. It's never easy to lose someone, but especially makes it difficult during the Holidays. I'm praying for you and I hope things will get better when you get off of the meds. I know one time I actually had rebound or bounceback pain due to the meds I was on at the time...I felt much better after getting them out of my system. This is my prayer for you my good friend. Best wishes and Merry Christmas...I hope your son feels better, as well and Ralph too! May the Lord Bless your time in the hospital and make it as easy as possible for you. Love and hugs~Kim xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
pomgirl
Sounds like you know what you want and you go for it. Good for you. I'm glad you are standing up for yourself too. I know you can do this detox after the NY. I'm rooting for you. You are going to feel a lot better when you get back. I'll miss your great hugsssssssssssss. You have a great holiday.
Survivable
So good to hear from you....write more often if you can. So sorry about your friend. Merry Christmas.
RonaS
You're in my prayers!Hugs...Lesa
Lesa
Keep strong my friend!
hugs Cathy
ragingfog
I'm sorry about your friend, it's always painful to lose someone during the holiday times, every year is another reminder of that loss.
You are always so busy, is there any way you can slow things down and be more gentle on your expectations for yourself?
We have a bunch of things going haywire at home right now too and I know how easy it is to focus on them and become depressed but mixed in with all those trials are some real blessings and I hope you can spend time each day giving thanks for all the things in your life that are going well and the gifts of love from those around you. Merry Christmas and let's pray the new year is a kinder and gentler one then this past. Hugs and loves, Georgia
GeorgiaW
hi, I am so sorry about your friend. You are in my prayers always and I really think you'll feel better once you detox and you'll feel as strong as you are again. Happy holidays to you and your loves.
Nancey
ghee
Hon I am so verry sorry to hear about your friend. That must be hard. I think gettting detoxed is a good idea. You never know it could help. I will keep y ou in my prayers. It is so bad that Christmas has turned out to be so stressful for you I hope the actual day goes better.
freakyfest
Only thing i can sat is praying for you. Also try to take it a day at a time.. I know it is hard and I can't often do it.
kjl1951
Your in my prayers hugs here if you ever need to talk
rachelle403
Hey Sweetie, so sorry you things are rough right now for you.. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers..
sabercat