thehillclan05's Journal

Well this year started off with a crazy bang!  Jason's grandmother died on January 1st, so we had to rush to Dallas to be with the family.  The thing is even though we were there to mourn, it was the best trip I have ever had.  Jason and I fault as always, but I spent ALOT of time with my nieces and nephews.  We took them downtown for some site seeing and shopping, we went to the farmers market.  It was the best time I have had in a long time.  Its weird I lived in Dallas for almost 4 years and have gone back and forth a hundred times visiting family, but have never gone and done all the fun amazing things I did on this trip.  I just don't understand why it was still a battle with Jason.  We were there with his family, I worked my ass off helping with funeral stuff, was up to 3 and 4 in the morning helping his sister getting stuff together.  But nothing I do is ever enough.  Since we have been home its the same things over and over.  I think if he had a job he would be happy, but he just mopes alot.  I also think he is angry because I am not letting his attitude get me down. I have been doing alot more since I have been home.  I take my outside dogs for walks and rides in the car, of course I have my yorkies, my family and school.  So my life is pretty full. He just won't let himself be happy here and I just don't know what to do anymore.  I love my family and life, but I understand how badly Jason wants to be back in Texas on a regular basis.  Here we have help financially when we need it, but there we don't.  Jason does not have a firm grip on reality and me, his mom, everyone has tried to get him to come back down to earth.  I guess I am jst venting.  I do miss Dallas, but I don't want to go back there and not be able to live in my own home like I have here.  Anyway.... For now I will stay positive and be happy, and hope Jason will snap out of it.