Journal

Well this year started off with a crazy bang!  Jason's grandmother died on January 1st, so we had to rush to Dallas to be with the family.  The thing is even though we were there to mourn, it was the best trip I have ever had.  Jason and I fault as always, but I spent ALOT of time with my nieces and nephews.  We took them downtown for some site seeing and shopping, we went to the farmers market.  It was the best time I have had in a long time.  Its weird I lived in Dallas for almost 4 years and have gone back and forth a hundred times visiting family, but have never gone and done all the fun amazing things I did on this trip.  I just don't understand why it was still a battle with Jason.  We were there with his family, I worked my ass off helping with funeral stuff, was up to 3 and 4 in the morning helping his sister getting stuff together.  But nothing I do is ever enough.  Since we have been home its the same things over and over.  I think if he had a job he would be happy, but he just mopes alot.  I also think he is angry because I am not letting his attitude get me down. I have been doing alot more since I have been home.  I take my outside dogs for walks and rides in the car, of course I have my yorkies, my family and school.  So my life is pretty full. He just won't let himself be happy here and I just don't know what to do anymore.  I love my family and life, but I understand how badly Jason wants to be back in Texas on a regular basis.  Here we have help financially when we need it, but there we don't.  Jason does not have a firm grip on reality and me, his mom, everyone has tried to get him to come back down to earth.  I guess I am jst venting.  I do miss Dallas, but I don't want to go back there and not be able to live in my own home like I have here.  Anyway.... For now I will stay positive and be happy, and hope Jason will snap out of it.

The Day Is Done

by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

The day is done, and the darkness

 Falls from the wings of Night,

As a feather is wafted downward

From an eagle in his flight.

I see the lights of the village

 Gleam through the rain and the mist,

And a feeling of sadness comes o'er me,

That my soul cannot resist:

A feeling of sadness and longing,

That is not akin to pain,

And resembles sorrow only

As the mist resembles the rain.

Come, read to me some poem,

Some simple and heartfelt lay,

That shall soothe this restless feeling,

And banish the thoughts of day.

Not from the grand old masters,

Not from the bards sublime,

Whose distant footsteps echo

Through the corridors of Time.

For, like strains of martial music,

Their mighty thoughts suggest

Life's endless toil and endeavor;

And to-night I long for rest.

Read from some humbler poet,

Whose songs gushed from his heart,

As showers from the clouds of summer,

Or tears from the eyelids start;

Who, through long days of labor,

And nights devoid of ease,

Still heard in his soul the music

Of wonderful melodies.

Such songs have power to quiet

The restless pulse of care,

And come like the benediction

That follows after prayer.

Then read from the treasured volume

The poem of thy choice,

And lend to the rhyme of the poet

The beauty of thy voice.

And the night shall be filled with music

And the cares that infest the day,

Shall fold their tents, like the Arabs,

And as silently steal away.

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride of my breasts,
The grace of my style.
I'm a woman

Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Now you understand
Just why my head's not bowed.
I don't shout or jump about
Or have to talk real loud.
When you see me passing
It ought to make you proud.
I say,
It's in the click of my heels,
The bend of my hair,
the palm of my hand,
The need of my care,
'Cause I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

This is another fav poem of mine. It is by Maya Angelou