Today has been a day of improvements, …
Today has been a day of improvements, thank goodness. Rachel's ANC has jumped from a grand total of 30 yesterday, to …
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Well it is Sunday Nov 1st about 1:00 in the morning and even with sleeping pills I can't sleep knowing that come Monday morning I will be taking my beautiful Dakota to his final day on this earth. I knew the time would come but I just did not think so soon. My German Shepard has reached his point and there is nothing I can do to help him. His legs just are not holding him and he struggles to walk, I can see his pain he can't seem to relax and to watch him try to get up the steps is unbearable. The vet always told me that dogs his size live about 12 years maybe 13. He is 125 lbs and has been the best dog you could ask for. He was mine, he had to be where I was at all times. He was so protective of his family he would have to stand between me and anyone who walked in the door. He was friendly but so intimidating to people because of his size. No one knew he was so gentle, they just saw a huge German Shepard and that was it. He was a strong powerful dog who would protected his family. My husband was never a dog person but when no one was around he would pet Dakota and talk to him. The dog and my husband were jealous of each other. He watched my every move and knew exactly how to react.
When my husband died I started letting him sleep in my room, where he has been everynight for over 2 years now. Now this last 2 weeks he has struggled to get up all those steps. In the last few days I had to keep him in the garage because he just can't make it. I tried putting a gate across the steps hoping he would just sleep at the bottom but no he knocked the gate down and tried to get up there with me. Now as I sit in my room I know he will never be by my side again. My brother called today and ask if I wanted him to come help but I could not even talk about it. I cried and told him I will do this alone.
Just thinking about it makes me cry. The vet suggested I not stay but I can't leave him to die alone. I will not let him go to sleep without seeing me right beside him. I am going to miss him so much, when I leave to go to work his head would be sticking out of the window, curtains pulled back watching me and when I came home there he was sitting at the front door and when my car pulled in he would stand and watch me come up the walk, he knew mom was home and he would get his treat.
Well I am feeling heartbroken and wish my husband were here to help me get through this. I need my hero to save the day. He always took all the pain away. Wishing he were here with me. I miss you so much my love, please take care of my Dakota he is going to be with you, He will watch over you now.
"I will love you forever and forever more"
'HERE WITHOUT YOU"
Sad & Lonely 
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I am soooo sorrry, I remember the day vividly that I had to take my dog in for his last day. He also was in so much pain, so uncomfortable, it hurts so much but I realized that "you have to love them enough to let them go".. I did stay with my dog, I like you wanted him to know I was right there with him.. but you can decide what is best for you...I don't know if it is online or at your vet's office but there is a poem called the The Bridge To Heaven for people who have lost their pets. I would read that poem every day for some comfort. I am so sorry, you and Dakaota are in my thoughts and prayers...
alicea
I'm sorry it is the Rainbow Bridge poem. I hope you are able lto check it out online... I HOPE that it gives you a bit of comfort........ Hugs,
alicea
I went through that last year..It hurts so bad..I am sorry~~Our pets helped us at a time in our life that no one else could do....I sent my princess to be with her daddy and now that is what you will have to do...Big hug and love!
Glenda
I am so sorry for your Dakota's pain and suffering. Tootsie is my dog of 11 years and I just lost my husband 8 months ago. I always told my husband that he would have to put her down when the day comes. Now when her day comes he won't be here to do it or to be here for me. I hope she has some years to go yet, as she is like my baby and she is my buddy now. She now sleeps with me but never did when my husband was alive. I love her so much. My heart just breaks for you. I hope you can get through this tomorrow. Lean on your loved ones to get you through it.
Sorrowfully,
cyndiC
cyndiC
I am so so sorry! Sue
Sue0216
I am so sad for you. My sweet Chloe was diagnosed with lymphoma last fall just as things started to go so very badly for Scott. It made the nightmare worse in many respects. Chloe lost her fight just 7 weeks before Scott. By then Scott couldnot speak. My heart was simply ripped from me and still feel so raw. Scott could only hold my hand to comfort me. God it was awful.
By now a little more time has passed since that awful day you had to face alone, but I know the sadness in your heart is only accentuated by the absence of your wonderful husband. Without him by your side to comfort you, it makes it all the more painful and reminds us we are in it alone.
many hugs to your
Susan
SusanCD