Today has been a day of improvements, …
Today has been a day of improvements, thank goodness. Rachel's ANC has jumped from a grand total of 30 yesterday, to …
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finishline 
Hello my love,
Just sitting here feeling bad with a cold. I was so looking forward to doing things this weekend but Terra started feeling sick and now all of us are down with a bad cold. I did make Glenn take me to the store to day. He was suppose to practice parking but he just wasted time till I felt so bad I did not care if he did it or not. He has backed me in a corner and I don't want to have to be the mean nasty mother but he is leaving me no choice. He needs to get his license and get a part time job so he can get out around people and maybe grow up a little. So I think I am going to have to take away his TV, computer and games leaving him nothing and he will have to get his act together or else I won't give them back. I fought with him all week about what he was going to do when he graduated and he keeps telling me he wants to be a video gamer. Well that is just plain stupid lazy thinking and I can't stand it. I told him get real there are no jobs out there that will pay you to play video games and even if there were you would need a degree, but Mr Know it all just keeps yelling over everything I say. He has learned if he keeps going I will wear down and shut up. This time I told him if he did not stop I was going to hit him but he still had to get one more word in. He thinks I am stupid and tries to tell me things I know I did not say but he is so convincing he is a master.
This is when I feel my loss the hardest, knowing just how quickly you would solve this with him and I just can't. So I am not going to keep stressing out over him right now I am feeling to bad to go on with this.
I got my Esophageous Cancer bracelets & pins this week and we all are wearing them in honor of you. I have one more week of Hospice Training to go and that has been keeping me busy. It is a beautiful weekend and I have no energy to do anything. I am going to a concert next week with all your friends. And my long lost cousin is having a surprise party for her mom so I think I will go just to see the few relatives I have left.
Well my dear I am going to go for now I need to go to bed I am drained and I hope I feel better Sunday so my entire weekend is not wasted. I will talk to you soon. I am fighting the fight for you and you are always on my mind. My love for you has not changed and never will.
"HERE WITHOUT YOU"
Kim
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im sure your son is in alot of pain but you have to make him get out there good luck peace and hugs
slkmom
show how tough love my friend!
Glenda
Kim,
Have you and your son been to Grief Counseling? I think you both would benefit from it. Death of a love one is one of the most tragic things anyone can experience as you know all to well. But your life should not stop because of it. I know that your husband would not want your grief to hold you back. The best way for you and your son show your love for your husband, his father. Is stop the fighting and to live your life as fun loving as he was. Fighting is adding fuel to a tragic situation and your both taking your anger out on each other. Your husband/Father will always be apart of your lives. But you both need to look toward your future. I wish you both the best and may the Memories give you the strength you need to move forward and be the person he would want you all to be. Hugs, Jacki
aremerald
Kim,
I am sorry you feel under the weather. It stinks to be grieving and feel bad at the same time. I am sure you are doing the best you can for your son. You know him best and are able to see up close if he is expressing teen angst or something else. I know I feel like my 'get up and go" leaves me quite often, and motivating someone else would be an enormous chore.
Good luck on wrapping up your training. You are so brave and so strong to be doing this, and I know you are doing it to honor your guy, but you are honoring your own strength too.
hugs, Susan
SusanCD