Today has been a day of improvements, …
Today has been a day of improvements, thank goodness. Rachel's ANC has jumped from a grand total of 30 yesterday, to …
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finishline 
My dearest love,
I will remember you forever
Each & every day
Our lives will go on without you
Yet your memory will always stay
I can hardly accept you've been taken away
I can not bear the thought
Of living life alone without you
And all the joy you have brought.
'HERE WITHOUT YOU"
RIP 8/11/2007
Nothing has changed, time drags by. I keep up appearances just to get by. Nights are very lonely, my days are just as bad. Our son found a car so we traded in your truck. He could not drive your truck it was too big and he was not comfortable. That was the hardest thing ever to let it go I stood in the lot crying like a fool, people were staring and our son's head dropped. I know it hurt him but seeing me cry made it worse so I took a pill and calmed myself down, tried to put on a happy face and give him what he wanted. He was so happy and it seems to be a good fit for him.
He needs so much more practice before I let him get his license and to drive on his own. I about choked when I heard the cost of what his insurance will be, don't know how I will do it. Two teenage drivers will cost me hundreds each month. Even if he gets a job it won't put a dent in that bill.
Had to have a plumber out to fix several things just another pile of money that I have to fork out. Seems as if it all is happening at once. I never realized just how many things I can't do without you. Why whine it does no good, I just need to suck it up and deal with it. That is all there is to this. Sick to death of it all.
Love always
Me
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I understand, it DOES GET overwhelming.. As for the truck I totally know that feeling. We had a company and I had to dissolve it, I was able to keep Jim's pickup truck as I needed it around here, but anyway as each truck sold and drove away I was devastated. I had explained that to my counselor at the time and said I felt foolish, it was ONLY a truck, but he assured me that I was NOT foolish, it was another loss to me. I have heard how much insurance is for teenagers now.. It's crazy!!! As we speak, I am waiting for MY plumber to come.. All these things that I know JIM could have fixed himself... I am trying to learn as not to have to call someone, but there are only so many things that we CAN do... I like you get sick of everything, but mostly sick of being alone, while I watch the world go on.. I know that we have to move forward, so all we can do is just to take one day at a time.. With you all the way... Hugs,
alicea
I must say I'm glad your son got a car. Maybe this will help him come out of his room and start moving forward. I'm sorry that getting rid of the truck was so hard on you. I gave Gene's truck away just a couple of weeks after he died. I had no attachment to it though and I wanted his brother in law to have it, along with the racing trailer Gene had. Thankfully, I have Paul who is pretty handy around the house. He learned alot from his dad.
FallenAngel
I totally understand about the teen drivers, my daughter got her liscense last year righ after her Dad passed away. She is a realresponsible driver, took drivers ed. she works and pays the insurance on the car, Ii got her the car but she pays for the gas and insurance, same with my son I told him i will get him a car like I did his sister but he has to pay for the insurance and everything else. My youngest just turned 16 last month but he isnt interested in driving yet, thank god. I understand the being overwhelmed feeling, been there many times. We depended on our men for so much that we have to learn to do it ourselves I guess. I get out and drive the highways all the time now, never did before. Yesterday took my daughter down to the fairgrounds to get concert tickets, missed the exit and had to get off at the next one and get back on, on the way back got in construction traffic, sucks. I am thankful that I have met a wonderful man who is helping me alot to get thru this. No one will ever replace what I lost but I need to be with someone, to know I am not alone. I am keeping our truck, a Trailblazer, need it for our terrible winters. as long as I can make the payments its ok. It will be a year for me next month, it is unbelievable where the time goes. Take catre and hang in there.
winelover98